Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Gagging for it - FML

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 21:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 10 621

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Same thing different taste

By Sl3vin - 19/01/2010 14:17 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 422

You deserved it 6 843

By BadGuyLuck - 25/02/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 2 798

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 926

You deserved it 1 254

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Spicy

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 138

You deserved it 2 892

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 864

You deserved it 3 617

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 638

You deserved it 9 035

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 17 989

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 269

You deserved it 3 570

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Spicy

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 354

You deserved it 47 319

Let down

By heartbreakkid21 - 14/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 181

You deserved it 5 614

Next

Top comments

flockz 19

Monday 27 June 2011 0:50

a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.

fthku 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:50

$50 per session is my type of girl.

Comments

RyanMacVey 17

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

oh :/ was trying to be funny ... sorry to disappoint master (;

zander2413 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

that's more action than I've ever got I still wet the bed I can't do anything

zander2413 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:52

with anyone):

smurfsarwales 9

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

ur accent even shows on fml :D

shali14 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

dude it's 3 dates were Yu expecting to have sex with the guy?

chiddy_bang71 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:41

actually yes

lemonsquid 6

Monday 27 June 2011 0:54

make a move! don't always make him do it! :D

agaba 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:55

phfff thats WAYY more action then i get

sabrinahusic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:56

Anyone else think this guy OP is dating is a virgin? I mean what kinda guy goes out with you 3 times and doesn't make any moves? Hm maybe he's waiting until marriage and if that's the case.....FYL indeed.

maskedman 9

Monday 27 June 2011 1:48

word! women have needs.

sabrinahusic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:52

:D exactly.

imcutefml 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:36

i have needs...

j_cat187 19

Monday 27 June 2011 1:01

thats how i read everything

bnvc 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:01

after 3 dates? wow. chill. if you had any self respect, you'd wait longer. youre what they call, *****.

Quest_ 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:06

You're what they call, sexist.

ThorneCrossed 9

Monday 27 June 2011 1:30

I agree op is what I would call a *****. I went with a girl who tried to do naughty things on the second date.

iSurf_fml 8

Monday 27 June 2011 1:04

Was it a hand-five or a boner-five?

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Keywords

Public freakouts Education Parents Love Mother in law Miscellaneous Argument AITA Insects Fear Health Cats Skincare Jealousy Coworkers Work Gross Dogs Animals Drugs Fire Awkward Money Scams Transportation Cars Bikes Scary Neighbours Sex

The Top

Today, I found out I have syphilis. I only slept with one person in my entire life, my boyfriend of 2 years. When I told him about it, he burst into tears and said, "It was one time at a company party" and "Maybe if you put some Vagisil or something, it will go away." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 137

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 356

The Top

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 619

You deserved it 2 544

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 434

You deserved it 5 749

Today, I got scammed and lost thousands of dollars, but my best friend would rather post on Instagram than reply to my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 783

Today, my boss had me walk a mile to the nearest store to get food for a party because she didn't want to lose her parking space at work. Her shopping list had two gallons of juice and a 10lb bag of ice... I had my legs and arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 924

You deserved it 404

Today, I let my friend use my computer to download some music. Now, my computer has 6 viruses and 4 songs, all of which I hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 542

You deserved it 26 339

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 174

You deserved it 236