Family, Poopoo peepee and Health: Fart wars

Fart wars

By district12 - 18/02/2012 22:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 942

You deserved it 2 903

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Same thing different taste

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 35 997

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 6 829

By beautifulme - 31/01/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 122

You deserved it 4 886

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 371

You deserved it 9 464

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 535

You deserved it 596

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:09 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 321

You deserved it 8 048

Skidmarks

By smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 191

By Mj - 20/07/2016 00:28 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 763

You deserved it 4 264

Gassy

By Anonymous - 10/07/2022 06:00

Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 253

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 384

kmccain 27

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:35

May the odds be ever in your favor

paulkeppel 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:34

gas them out until they surrender. show no mercy!

Comments

jem137451 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:35

At least if you win you never have to play I'n the games again.... Haha but sorry OP

jem137451 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:37

In- stupid word correct!

dessaye 19

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:00

There's always next year! Don't forget the Quarter Quell :P

Shelta957 13

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:13

That's only of she survives this round!! :P

jem137451 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:41

Ah, yes, hopefully they don't have katniss's bad luck by having to play again

Petey_Piie 1

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:39

I love OP's name. Be strong! District 12 victors have can-do attitudes! Fight back and you will win.

PurpleAddict 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:10

YOUR FAMILY IS AMAZING

guitarsonist666 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:14

What's the problem?? That's my house everyday!!

nabila21 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:15

I need to read that book .

ftw487 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 6:49

U should read them. theyre really goof

ftw487 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 6:50

Oops i ment good

soupisyummy 13

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:32

Reeeeeeaaaaadddd itttttttt!!!!! The whole series is.....jmdjcskxmsuxbskxidbchxjzk SEX!!

Melania890 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:32

Oh my god, please please please read them. It's got to be the best trilogy ever. :)

mynameispickle 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:37

Umm...what? At least your family is comfortable around eachother!

MickGold 8

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:47

BOMBS AWAY!!!

bananabuttercup 8

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:00

Sounds like you don't really know what the Hunger Games are.

mattisons19 7

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:16

Sounds a lot like my family xD

simplyunique907 4

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:23

wow

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The Top

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 145

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 27

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The Top

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently, I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 006

You deserved it 2 625

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 178

You deserved it 12 950

Today, I was almost hit by a bus, missing me by a few centimetres, and only because I jumped back the moment I heard its horn. I was using the zebra crossing, and the lights were green for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 109

Today, the supervisory staff at work was changed in my area. The good news? My boyfriend is now my manager. The bad news? My ex, the guy I cheated on my boyfriend with, is our supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 614

You deserved it 75 033

Today, I texted my exes, not because I missed them, but because I wanted to know how their pets were doing. This holds true for at least 4 relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 624

You deserved it 1 284

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 5 237

Fart wars

Same thing different taste

It's a gas gas gas

Single shot

Skidmarks

Gassy

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