Sex, Anxiety, Awkward and Intimacy: Effective

Effective

By Nublet - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 375

You deserved it 5 573

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Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Braggadocious

By krissy8799 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 211

You deserved it 10 098

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 608

You deserved it 8 749

By Anonymous - 05/10/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 732

You deserved it 61 793

By notsexy - 28/07/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 761

You deserved it 8 438

Doofus

By Coykoi - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 915

You deserved it 10 420

Scary!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 207

You deserved it 5 870

The cycle begins

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 123

You deserved it 4 988

By myusofwe - 06/02/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 933

You deserved it 3 025

Sketchy

By Wolf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 857

You deserved it 2 461

Killing the mood

By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 646

You deserved it 8 752

ImmaB3AST 7

Wednesday 7 September 2011 12:03

what the hell are you? a vacuum cleaner?

chick011 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 11:58

Must have been really good?

Comments

romkuglen 1

Friday 9 September 2011 2:41

Lol wtf????

juicifer 0

Friday 9 September 2011 5:11

Don't use teeth?

HannahDoyle_2013 2

Friday 9 September 2011 5:26

#39 you made my day. Lmao!!!

Ilikegirlswithbi 0

Friday 9 September 2011 7:18

You must be doing it right then

Glassmaster 0

Friday 9 September 2011 8:14

Sadly, I expect to have a panic attack the first time I go past first base :/ FML, F anxiety...

sirpunsalot 0

Friday 9 September 2011 13:36

Well you are either REALLY bad, or REALLY good at it.

jayandersen 0

Friday 9 September 2011 20:52

Wow..

BoRalphDiddley 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 3:27

Yea .. Um .. Call me .. Lol

piwikiwi93 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 6:30

You are a perv I couldn't imagine giving anyone a *******!!!

wildnout06 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 4:31

Why do people say you deserved it like it's your fault you knew he would have a panic attack such assholes

Keywords

Facebook Work Social Media Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Virginity Painful School Health Awkward Dating Tinder Love Skincare Anxiety Relatable Sextoys Poopoo peepee Art Kids Birthday Covid Relationship advice Transportation Cars Gross Family Neighbours Lonely

The Top

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 659

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 312

The Top

Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 108

Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said, "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 934

You deserved it 1 174

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 023

You deserved it 10 109

Today, my roommate’s 17 year-old daughter got broken up with. She locked herself in her room and won’t stop playing "Driver’s License" by Olivia Rodrigo on a continuous loop. Not to mention sounding like an agonizing cat while screaming its lyrics. It’s been 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 150

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the movies. She replies, "Sorry I have to do stuff with my parents" Her mum calls and by mistake my girlfriend pressed loud speaker, the first thing her mum said was "Be back at 11". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 105

You deserved it 2 564

Today, I found a bowl of green beans just sitting in my microwave. The only person in my life who ever eats green beans is my psycho ex-girlfriend. She moved out three months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 81