Sex, Anxiety, Awkward and Intimacy: Effective

Effective

By Nublet - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 375

You deserved it 5 573

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Same thing different taste

Braggadocious

By krissy8799 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 211

You deserved it 10 098

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 608

You deserved it 8 749

By Anonymous - 05/10/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 732

You deserved it 61 793

By notsexy - 28/07/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 761

You deserved it 8 438

Doofus

By Coykoi - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 915

You deserved it 10 420

Scary!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 207

You deserved it 5 870

The cycle begins

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 123

You deserved it 4 988

By myusofwe - 06/02/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 933

You deserved it 3 025

Sketchy

By Wolf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 857

You deserved it 2 461

Killing the mood

By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 646

You deserved it 8 752

ImmaB3AST 7

Wednesday 7 September 2011 12:03

what the hell are you? a vacuum cleaner?

chick011 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 11:58

Must have been really good?

Comments

BloodyMary666 24

Wednesday 7 September 2011 20:32

What the...???

Medcanyon 10

Wednesday 7 September 2011 20:59

Maybe you blew him out of his mind!!

TodaySuxx 7

Wednesday 7 September 2011 21:32

You must be pro.

fuckyouimawesome 1

Wednesday 7 September 2011 22:31

Lol don't use your teeth next time...

whited666 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 22:47

You must be GREAT!!

you_killed_kenny 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 23:07

This is why the elderly just play bingo.

McQuack_fml 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 23:25

nice;)

sheisdagirl 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 23:47

it must hav been too good

harrieslinger 17

Thursday 8 September 2011 0:15

just suck it up.

bugsGoRawr 7

Thursday 8 September 2011 0:31

I see what you did there.

RiseAgainst33 3

Thursday 8 September 2011 3:11

Hahahaha

Munchkin13 6

Thursday 8 September 2011 1:13

Is that suppose to be good or bad?

Keywords

Work Social Media Embarrassing Facebook Sex Intimacy Virginity School Health Painful Awkward Dating Tinder Love Skincare Relatable Anxiety Sextoys Poopoo peepee Kids Art Birthday Covid Relationship advice Transportation Cars Gross Family Neighbours Lonely

The Top

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 344

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 875

You deserved it 23 116

The Top

Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 907

You deserved it 1 554

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 97

Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 366

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 779

You deserved it 19 226

Today, it's been almost two weeks since any of my relatives have talked to me. They are still mad because I didn't go on a Labor Day trip with them and I've found out why. Apparently, they had plans for me to babysit my younger cousins any time they wanted to do something fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 910

You deserved it 788

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 367