Sex, Anxiety, Awkward and Intimacy: Effective - FML

Effective

By Nublet - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 378

You deserved it 5 574

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Same thing different taste

Braggadocious

By krissy8799 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 214

You deserved it 10 099

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 608

You deserved it 8 749

By Anonymous - 05/10/2010 00:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 733

You deserved it 61 796

By notsexy - 28/07/2009 22:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 762

You deserved it 8 439

Doofus

By Coykoi - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 916

You deserved it 10 420

Scary!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 207

You deserved it 5 870

The cycle begins

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 123

You deserved it 4 988

By myusofwe - 06/02/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Spicy

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 934

You deserved it 3 025

Sketchy

By Wolf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 859

You deserved it 2 461

Killing the mood

By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 647

You deserved it 8 752

Next

Top comments

ImmaB3AST 7

Wednesday 7 September 2011 12:03

what the hell are you? a vacuum cleaner?

chick011 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 11:58

Must have been really good?

Comments

god7000 2

Sunday 11 September 2011 11:29

Are you that good:P

MissHannah1807 5

Monday 12 September 2011 0:40

that's the most I've laughed in a long time.

login693 1

Monday 12 September 2011 4:17

interesting...

loganmarquez 3

Wednesday 14 September 2011 17:13

Poor guy :(

gunner2590 0

Friday 16 September 2011 9:34

Either he's new at this stuff or you're skills are good enough to make belladonna quit her job.

queenb1621 21

Sunday 18 September 2011 19:56

lol that sucks

Chazlol 7

Tuesday 20 September 2011 9:50

Holy shit! That must have been a really good ********.

theonly13 3

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:43

So either your bf is a bitch, or youre really good...

j3ebrules 13

Friday 23 September 2011 22:57

Aw, poor guy. I have panic disorder so I get that stuff. It might have made him light-headed, which is a big trigger for a large number of people with the disorder. He should lie down next time you are doing it. Unless, of course, it's because of past trauma. You don't typically get a panic attack just from "nerves".

kevoo_fml 3

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:26

Sheaaaaa, if my girl wouldve done that i wouldve been the happiest man ever!!! he is probably gay smh.

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Keywords

Hair Animals Cute AITA Love OCD Sex Tattoos Health Mental health Relatable Relationship advice Work Nepotism Management Accident Clumsy Family Miscellaneous Awkward Periods Embarrassing Food Airport Vacation Gross Cats Zoom Parents My ex

The Top

Today, I lost my job due to anonymous customer complaints. Turns out it was my toxic mother-in-law. She made those complaints because she thinks if I’m unemployed, it will be easier to convince my husband to divorce me. Luckily he knows she’s toxic and is on my side, but I’m still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 90

Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 190

You deserved it 204

The Top

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 725

You deserved it 7 451

Today, my boss told me to sort and file all the paperwork he'd been randomly shoving into boxes since 2010. Apparently we're being audited, so he expects me to do eight years of filing in two weeks. There's enough paper to fully stock a large public library. Two weeks my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 164

You deserved it 290

Today, Facebook notified me a "friend" had tagged me in one of his photos. It was a group photo of 20, but my face was the only one that was intentionally blocked out with an emoji because I "didn't belong in the group." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 355

You deserved it 588

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 766

You deserved it 7 243

Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 703

Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 124