Love, Sex, Cheating, Jealousy and Suspicious: Do you guys even talk to one another? - FML

Do you guys even talk to one another?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Spicy

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 102

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 900

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 504

You deserved it 4 195

Chapter and verse

By Anonymous - 29/12/2015 14:15

Spicy

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "Love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 498

You deserved it 1 530

By good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 840

You deserved it 4 613

By stanDman - 19/01/2009 18:05 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was jerking off when my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes… that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 430

You deserved it 10 468

By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 389

You deserved it 7 937

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 721

You deserved it 344

Right in the pecker

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 23:01

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 462

By lisahb - 19/06/2012 22:16 - United States - Detroit

Spicy

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 472

You deserved it 3 314

By vadoodoo22 - 15/01/2010 05:02 - France

Spicy

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 992

You deserved it 3 248

Next

Top comments

MidnaLink 33

Monday 14 August 2023 20:20

To be angry is one thing. This bitch is PSYCHO!

spinningrecords 14

Monday 14 August 2023 20:52

Sounds like a crime, prosecute and divorce her.

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Monday 14 August 2023 20:20

To be angry is one thing. This bitch is PSYCHO!

spinningrecords 14

Monday 14 August 2023 20:52

Sounds like a crime, prosecute and divorce her.

cuz803 44

Monday 14 August 2023 23:14

Divorce her abusive ass. She sexually assaulted you and assumed you cheated without proper reasoning. She's toxic and a piece of shit.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 15 August 2023 0:58

So we're supposed to believe you're not a GILF hunter?

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Relatable Abuse Birthday Scams Money Social Media Kids School Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Fight Family Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 72

Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of protein and to fill my fridge with vegetables. I can barely afford to make balanced meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 609

You deserved it 2 462

Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 119

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 707

You deserved it 8 368

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 522

You deserved it 2 390

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 15 007

Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 919

You deserved it 2 370