Intimacy: Dirty talk

Dirty talk

By awkward - 22/02/2014 05:39 - United States

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 605

You deserved it 10 462

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 304

You deserved it 17 957

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 081

You deserved it 16 259

The L word

By Anonymous - 26/05/2014 15:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 106

You deserved it 7 118

Good girl

By bianca131 - 10/11/2015 03:42 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 977

You deserved it 8 203

Submission

By Anonymous - 24/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 503

You deserved it 1 892

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 183

You deserved it 9 755

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 607

You deserved it 90 938

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 7 105

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 090

You deserved it 6 169

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 642

You deserved it 86 672

Wakachulak 22

Saturday 22 February 2014 12:58

Well, at least you know she hasn't done anything.

Alyxi 20

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:00

are you sure she wasn't just trying to play along?

Comments

poisongirl708 11

Monday 7 April 2014 16:45

Awww that's kind of messed on there

Couch_muffin 3

Monday 21 April 2014 4:20

That sounds like the cutest response ever lol

ACC7Perkele 13

Wednesday 30 April 2014 17:17

That's oddly cute!

amason5995 4

Friday 23 May 2014 1:30

... can I have your girlfriend? She sounds ******* adorable.

darkfirewolf13 7

Tuesday 8 July 2014 5:53

It's kinda cute though haha

Hunthas 17

Monday 20 April 2015 3:55

That is adorable

gusthecat 12

Sunday 31 January 2016 17:42

my girlfriend would do this xD

imnotcleverenoughforthis 14

Thursday 30 March 2017 0:09

This is the most adorable thing I've ever seen on this site

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 3 544

Today, I found out my niece will born in about two weeks. That's nice, right? It is… except for the fact that there will now be FIVE people in my family with a birthday in May. As if trying to plan for four birthday parties in three weeks wasn't bad enough. Why not five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 420

The Top

Today, my mom threatened to hurt me if she finds out i’m not changing my pad in between every single class. My classes are all on opposite sides of the building and nowhere near any bathrooms. I don’t even bleed that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 78

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 114

You deserved it 29 348

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 933

You deserved it 2 768

Today, I realized I've lived alone for so long, I now apologize to my phone for dropping it, or even over-charging it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 144

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 289

You deserved it 9 286

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 365

You deserved it 76 152