Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw...

By Anonymous - 22/02/2014 02:47 - United States - Irvine

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 897

You deserved it 8 243

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Same thing different taste

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 429

You deserved it 8 580

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 962

You deserved it 40 858

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 04:00

Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 210

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 488

You deserved it 6 820

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 410

You deserved it 4 042

By amberrenee91 - 19/03/2013 03:29 - United States - Ellwood City

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 558

You deserved it 17 826

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 404

You deserved it 910

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 063

You deserved it 58 905

Slime

By klyoung5 - 03/01/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 396

You deserved it 4 959

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 734

omgbrainZ_fml 24

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:02

That's "snot" good.

extrasnipes 22

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:06

Is it me or do bad things only happen around attractive people?

Comments

bleeping 5

Saturday 22 February 2014 12:58

That's one way to get the boys!

omgbrainZ_fml 24

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:02

That's "snot" good.

andrewturtle 16

Saturday 22 February 2014 14:06

I think OP 'nose' that it's not very flattering.

Queen_bee1234 21

Saturday 22 February 2014 14:08

I think OP had a chance but blew it.

B4rn3yST1NSON 13

Saturday 22 February 2014 19:04

some random comment about you guys being nosy in all of this...still trying to make sense of it . Smells like failure to me. ;(

flame5768 14

Sunday 23 February 2014 3:27

loloololololol

SheTheOtaku 21

Sunday 23 February 2014 8:01

Oh, haha. Very Punny of you.

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Sunday 23 February 2014 10:08

#34 You little booger.

vegetaftw 28

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:02

Hot.

False_Stupidity 41

Saturday 22 February 2014 20:03

Snot is Hot? Or do you need air-conditioning?

jellybeens_fml 16

Saturday 22 February 2014 22:46

It's a joke^

onlychildFTW 33

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:03

You must be a hardcore giggler! I've never managed that.

chutney_02 22

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:04

If he's worth it, he'll understand :)

arandomusernameaa 20

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:06

Not exactly a way to look attractive though...

extrasnipes 22

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:06

Is it me or do bad things only happen around attractive people?

B4rn3yST1NSON 13

Saturday 22 February 2014 19:06

Agree ....lucky is not my middle name....wait what ??!

ClearlyImFunny 12

Saturday 22 February 2014 21:55

No its just you never hear, " farted infront of this guy who looked like he had been hit by a train. Fml"

zandalee 19

Saturday 22 February 2014 22:19

My brain just imploded...

strawberrywine22 30

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:07

It could have been worse, at least you didn't... nah, that was really bad. FYL!

leary96 15

Saturday 22 February 2014 16:05

There's a button for that.

Nickb55 16

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:15

That snot good I hope he nose that it wad an accident

TylerBurden 21

Saturday 22 February 2014 16:56

That was too much.

brandoneyez1 25

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:16

He's snot gonna find that attractive.

sydstoomuch 19

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:17

Lmfao!!!!

juan3611 14

Saturday 22 February 2014 15:21

Your profile picture..I'm drawing it atm for my art project o.O

B4rn3yST1NSON 13

Saturday 22 February 2014 19:07

-Has joined random chatroom #21067978. -Talal: art project ! wow !! what else have been going on in your life mate ?

Keywords

Friends Love Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Work Revenge Parents Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Weird Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice AITA Kids Roommate Shoes Annoying Music Names Customers Money Education

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Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 76

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 915

You deserved it 44 866

The Top

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 660

You deserved it 2 977

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 558

You deserved it 3 021

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 328

You deserved it 4 717

Today, police barged into my apartment for a drug raid, but they had the wrong address. They came in while I was naked on my couch and didn't even apologize for breaking my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 73

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 343

You deserved it 10 998

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 267

Same thing different taste

PTSD

Slime

Good bye!

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