Animals, Fear, Scary and Miscellaneous: Creepy - FML

Creepy

By Username - 03/10/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 500

You deserved it 3 364

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 358

You deserved it 3 055

Awwww, how sweet!

By Justin - 25/07/2020 20:00

Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 129

By sting - 06/12/2014 01:32 - United States - Valencia

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 653

You deserved it 16 468

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 218

You deserved it 3 107

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 123

By Boyufd - 09/09/2018 03:30

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 915

You deserved it 229

By NotSpiderman - 31/10/2012 17:09 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 689

You deserved it 4 617

By QWERTY - 03/04/2011 23:20

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 176

You deserved it 18 227

By cricketsins - 14/05/2015 05:11 - United States

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 560

You deserved it 2 588

By mac - 27/01/2014 14:40 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 422

You deserved it 4 372

Next

Top comments

Calen5556 0

Monday 3 October 2011 23:45

In Texas we have those all the time. Had one in my bathroom this morning.

Ferretface 13

Tuesday 4 October 2011 1:23

40- I'm closer to the appetizer portion of Texas myself.

Comments

YoNdO15 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 3:00

hahahah again :)

Seadizzle 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:07

I hope it wasn't a rare African butt hole dwelling scorpions. I guess you'll find out in the morning.

kit001 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 9:17

AGAIN?! Oh man, if I were you, it woulda only happened like NEVER! Never be desperate enough to have roommate owning scorpions. Do you not have any intelligence?

jsturaveragegirl 5

Wednesday 5 October 2011 21:57

What kinda freak do you live with?

Edie84 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 0:44

Again??

Twisted_Angel 17

Thursday 6 October 2011 6:13

Lmao, that sucks!

suckmysarcasm 10

Friday 7 October 2011 7:13

simple solution...go find sub-zero : p

xxmusicroxxx 0

Monday 10 October 2011 6:17

Hello,Marriott!

RAUN 8

Saturday 3 December 2011 3:51

Find it with again, this time under the 10 pound barbell you buy this afternoon.

Leser98 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 0:08

Again?

4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Work Management Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I found out you can’t lie about having a Master’s Degree in order to get a job. I paid a friend $500 to make a very real looking Master’s diploma from an accredited school. My plan worked well, until they asked me for my official transcripts. Meaning it has to come from the institution directly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 1 288

Today, after waiting two weeks for an email with my online textbook access code, it still hadn't arrived in time for my quiz tomorrow, so I ended up spending most of my money on the expensive physical copy. Not long after I got back home, the email finally arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 204

You deserved it 5 035

The Top

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 938

You deserved it 24 616

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend because we’re not on the same page. He doesn’t want to get married or have kids because he “wants to enjoy his youth” and “you’re only young once, don’t waste it!” He’s 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 208

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 697

You deserved it 2 737

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 776

You deserved it 6 568

Today, I had to write a huge lab for my physics class. It's worth my entire quarter grade and I use a program on a CD for graphing. My mom thought it was a computer game and hid the CD. She can't find it. The lab's due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 260

You deserved it 3 842

Today, I got hit so hard in the head by a dodgeball that a contact popped right out. To make matters worse, I continued to get hit as a futilely searched for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 844

You deserved it 1 579