Work, Awkward and Intimacy: Casual perv

Casual perv

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 477

You deserved it 6 034

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Same thing different taste

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 2 590

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 129

You deserved it 4 660

By yournick - 31/01/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 243

You deserved it 4 831

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 275

You deserved it 12 353

By NotBeingPaidEnough - 03/03/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat and threw up on my checkout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 448

You deserved it 1 320

Congratulations, you played yourself

By danielle - 23/04/2009 07:16 - United States

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 219

You deserved it 260 095

Sting

By gimme beer - 13/06/2023 18:00

Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 131

By killmenow - 10/09/2012 17:52 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 267

You deserved it 77 638

By Kerrilyn - 17/05/2009 14:39 - United States

Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 002

You deserved it 54 941

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 540

You deserved it 10 545

littlemuffet 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:38

Was he hot?

Roxas_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:37

Wow, creepy.

Comments

dcapp 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:20

this isn't an fml its a "something really creepy happened to me today" hahahahah at #3 and #27 get over yourself

naku_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:42

WOW....im trying to imagine this scenario in my head, cant imagine some guy actually saying that lol

bigrederin 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:13

Was it my grandfather?

simplynothing 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:32

he obviously has a sense of humor.

simplynothing 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:34

well, either that, or he's just plain creepy. sorry for the multiple comments

naomikathryn 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:43

Oh my word. I work at a grocery store, too. I haven't had anyone quite that bad yet, but I pray to God I never do.

92689 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 14:16

They don't sell Vodka in grocery stores where I live, only in liquor stores. Hmm maybe I should move...

UnCensoredBitch 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 21:20

What size were the condoms? jk! :D

musicloverr 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:16

HAAHAHAAHAHA that's fantastic he's great.

hollisterhottiex 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:43

creeper.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping Awkward My ex Racism Family Relatable AITA Love Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Health Psychology Mental health Cops Neighbours Scary Parents Stressed out

The Top

Today, I got a secondhand message from my mother to not jerk off so much. I know it’s secondhand because my wife says the same thing. They’re in cahoots and lie to one another: mom just wants grandkids, and my wife doesn’t want a smile on my face she didn’t put there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 516

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 140

The Top

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 244

You deserved it 1 109

Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 853

You deserved it 2 194

Today, I found out I got a 97 on my physics final exam. I was curious about the question I missed, so I went up to my teacher and asked. He was very confused and checked my grade again before telling me, "Oh my bad, it was meant to be a 79." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 385

You deserved it 5 529

Today, my partner had teletherapy early in the morning, so I was in rush to leave the apartment. I threw on clothes, and at the end of the day (at around 3 p.m.) I felt like someone at me a little funny as I was getting off an elevator. I looked in the mirror and realized my leggings had been on inside out all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 181

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 831

You deserved it 6 133

Today, at my birthday party in an expensive sushi restaurant that I spent hundreds of dollars to reserve, my boyfriend of 3 years proposed… to my sister. She said yes. They’ve been secretly seeing each other for the past year. She just graduated high school this past summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 97