Miscellaneous: Break in

Break in

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 9 988

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Same thing different taste

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 348

You deserved it 5 231

By valene5687 - 27/01/2016 05:20 - United States - Gretna

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 392

You deserved it 5 447

By Sparks - 13/03/2011 07:39 - United States

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 14 980

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 303

You deserved it 5 738

By TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 614

You deserved it 32 604

Second time

By timon_n_pumbaa - 11/01/2020 09:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I found myself locked in a bathroom for the second time in my life. This time at least I was at home. I live alone. I had to break the window on the shower door and crawl out. Now, I need to crawl in/out to shower, brush my teeth and more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 1 236

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 195

You deserved it 43 436

Stuck

By Chub - 27/10/2009 04:45 - United States

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 171

You deserved it 8 682

Let 'em in

By knoppad - 13/06/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 844

You deserved it 51 107

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 207

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 20 September 2009 9:31

So? it's your own toilet. If you didn't flush, or left discharge all over the seat, it's your own fault.

andyroxs 2

Sunday 20 September 2009 9:26

You wouldnt be alive if you fell that hard into the toilet head first.

Comments

Atara223 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 22:47

why the smallest open window? Why not the largest?

Renisca 7

Monday 21 September 2009 0:18

xD Good point.

samiams00 0

Monday 21 September 2009 0:37

This is fake.. you'd have to have fallen perfectly angled. Plus, the damage to your skull would be so tremendous, I doubt you'd be on FML posting this.

RubixMonkey 0

Monday 21 September 2009 1:23

I think the shower felt left out. Giving head to your toilet is wrong. I don't think the relationship will work out. One, the toilet has so much crap to deal with life just gets backed up. Two, he gets flushed and likes ass--he might have a problem. I think you might was to up your standards of household objects to give head to.

ragglefraggle 2

Monday 21 September 2009 1:29

Where does it say anywhere that the OP 'fell' into the toilet? All it said was that she "ended up head-first". Also, nobody takes into consideration that her cousin was standing on a chair and lifting her into the window. Meaning that she could have lowered her down and accidentally lowered the OP into the toilet.

gingermo 0

Monday 21 September 2009 2:01

you got back into your house didnt you?

WTFisthiscrap 6

Monday 21 September 2009 2:01

And if the cousin "pulled" her in, wouldn't the cousin be IN the house and therefore able to just open the door and let OP in?

RubixMonkey 0

Monday 21 September 2009 2:06

Stood on a chair and LIFTED her in.

xEcilam 0

Monday 21 September 2009 3:01

She would die because she her head fell into a toilet? Right, because falling head first into toilets kill millions every year. Forget about the other impossible cases of people getting shot 9 times, mauled by bears, or car accidents. I'm sure you can stand up to their living bodies and say it's impossible and they must be lying too you ignorant little kid.

RubixMonkey 0

Monday 21 September 2009 3:41

Bravo, with Ecilam I am most pleased.

FerrariCake 2

Monday 21 September 2009 3:59

Do you have at least one arm that you could have used to close the toilet? If you have no arms, I understand how you could let this happen. If you have arms, with hands on them, then you should have used them to somehow prevent your head from being in the toilet.