Intimacy: And I oop

And I oop

By AnxiousCucumber - 07/09/2016 20:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend's dick got stuck in the wrong hole. And by wrong hole I mean the pool filter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 384

You deserved it 2 184

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Same thing different taste

Potholer

By wtfbabe - 22/06/2018 05:00

Today, my husband's dick went in the wrong hole. And by the wrong hole, I mean another man’s anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 765

You deserved it 557

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 936

You deserved it 5 419

That sucks

By funnyERstory - 23/11/2016 04:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I got my dick sucked. Unfortunately, it was by the vacuum nozzle my cousin stuck down my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 964

You deserved it 1 553

The language of love

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 16:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 692

You deserved it 4 494

By fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 835

You deserved it 3 109

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 801

You deserved it 5 063

Poor Henry

By SierraCheyenne - 26/03/2020 23:09 - United States - Denver

Today, I came home to my boyfriend standing in the living room with his dick in the vacuum cleaner hose. Instead of being embarrassed, he simply said, "The vacuum does it better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 130

You deserved it 542

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 733

You deserved it 7 998

By Gross... - 16/08/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 620

You deserved it 3 270

What what?

By Anonymous - 25/10/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 804

You deserved it 3 512

Marynfrankie 19

Thursday 8 September 2016 10:57

There are just so many questions left unanswered here.

daz18m 15

Thursday 8 September 2016 11:11

He gives a new meaning "to be sucked off"

Comments

831curmudgeon 7

Thursday 22 September 2016 19:00

You meant to say "ex-boyfriend," right? Because frankly, if you stay with a moron, it starts to call into question your intelligence.

WillMM76 12

Thursday 29 September 2016 6:26

Ahahaha!

anthony99 14

Saturday 1 October 2016 4:26

You know the Eskimos have 200 words for a helmut stuck in a hot tub? Hell, they only got 50 words for snow!

AEIOUsometimesN0 3

Wednesday 12 October 2016 8:41

????

fungi0528 12

Tuesday 13 December 2016 6:34

... H-how?...

XXXTENTACIONSTYLE 5

Sunday 25 June 2017 2:26

So..... How did you manage to take it out afterwards?

dexter420 21

Sunday 29 April 2018 0:27

You should be satisfying his needs

Keywords

Art Kids Health Birthday Covid Relatable Love Transportation Awkward Cars Family Poopoo peepee Gross Neighbours Intimacy Sex Dreams Lonely Management Work Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Miscellaneous Friends Abuse Parents Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic

The Top

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job, and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said, "How would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 4 026

Today, on my wedding day, when they said, "You may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately, my hands were sweaty as I was nervous, and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 984

You deserved it 19 769

The Top

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 468

You deserved it 5 328

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 385

You deserved it 3 366

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 542

You deserved it 23 017

Today, while at a party, my extremely drunk crush came up to me and told me she had a crush on me. She then wanted to have sex with me while she drunk, but since she was under the influence I didn't. Later, when I told her about it, she say denied the fact that she likes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 423

Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 956

You deserved it 7 297

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 546

You deserved it 4 025

Same thing different taste

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