About Illmatic2
I've been here for a while. I'm really good at minesweeper.
Illmatic2 - Followers
Illmatic2 - Followed
Illmatic2's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    1%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    7%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    80%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    34%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    7%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    10%
The list of badges to find
Illmatic2's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

By pikachu / Tuesday 20 January 2009 20:00 / United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

By mfischer - / Friday 16 November 2012 09:40 / United States

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

By PicklesMcRaptor / Sunday 25 March 2012 11:59 / United States - Miami

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

By anonymous / Tuesday 20 March 2012 22:33 / Canada - Saint John's

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

By me - / Monday 12 March 2012 02:49 / United States