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  • Up and coming moderator

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  • One more and it's business time

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Banman12321's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

By Girl123999 - / Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:07 / United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

By Holy Testacles - / Wednesday 17 October 2012 04:45 / United States

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

By Can you say "bandwagon"? - / Wednesday 3 October 2012 21:33 / United States

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 5 August 2012 05:33 / United States - Mahwah

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

By MissPerspirent - / Wednesday 28 September 2011 02:18 / Canada