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    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Aquacadet's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

By Darkheaven / Monday 17 November 2008 11:27 / France

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

By SpiderMan - / Thursday 12 March 2009 00:23 / United States

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

By fannylovesfelix - / Tuesday 10 March 2009 23:05 / United States

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

By Noname - / Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:52 / United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States