Creechan

anon This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff United Kingdom

Asshats

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

263 comments

kinky 5 August 2010, 00:24 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

265 comments

brownunderwear 14 December 2011, 03:45 United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

92 comments

Anonymous 15 August 2012, 11:40 Chatham, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

104 comments

what the FUCK 15 August 2012, 22:52 Midlothian, United States 🌶️ Spicy

WHAT?

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

170 comments