mcfuss

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

Awkwaaaaaaard

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

Life's a beach

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML