Miss In a relationship
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
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