Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe." FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
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