Shadowbay

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Shadowbay's favorite FMLs

By konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

agreeclassic 276 904

vote type 1 37 150

By SarahNB - 01/03/2014 21:09 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

agreeclassic 41 073

vote type 1 16 620

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 10:42 - United States - Richmond

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

agreeclassic 54 470

vote type 1 6 159

You must be kidding

By offuckingcourse - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

agreeclassic 60 335

vote type 1 20 649

By nicholascageonyourface - 09/06/2013 05:13 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

agreeclassic 527

vote type 1 54