GooeyChickenman

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Gooeychickenman's favorite FMLs

Cook out

By zazadudu - 23/12/2008 06:47 - France

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML

agreeclassic 31 035

vote type 1 4 033

By Username - 29/11/2010 14:22

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

agreeclassic 34 044

vote type 1 3 250

Hi, how are you?

By kaz89 - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

agreeclassic 26 977

vote type 1 8 445

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 06:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

agreeclassic 53 358

vote type 1 16 372

By anugla - 18/08/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

agreeclassic 55 575

vote type 1 19 485