chawrun

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time." He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML