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Aihpos's favorite FMLs

Real estate

By John - 20/07/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

agreeclassic 42 965

vote type 1 12 223

By douglas - 17/07/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML

agreeclassic 40 197

vote type 1 8 259

By sandwichmaker - 17/07/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

agreeclassic 36 751

vote type 1 3 425

By Whatdididowrong? - 10/05/2011 05:18

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

agreeclassic 39 378

vote type 1 12 369

Smart kid

By bleredoshia - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

agreeclassic 29 947

vote type 1 63 472