Northridge, LA
Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML
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