Mrs Malmö/Banja Luka, Sweden/Bosnia and Herzegovina In a relationship
Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML
Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML
Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
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