Mr 46 years-old
Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML
Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I was robbed. They took my father's ashes. FML
Today, the only person to wish me a "Happy birthday" was the cop who'd pulled me over, as he handed me my ticket. FML
Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML
Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML
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