Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML
Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
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