uniqueprume

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Uniqueprume's favorite FMLs

By mrWrong - 25/03/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

agreeclassic 541

vote type 1 60

By I hate my job - 08/06/2013 22:20 - United States

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

agreeclassic 56 938

vote type 1 4 311

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 20:53 - United Kingdom - Bromley

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

agreeclassic 75 105

vote type 1 14 340

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 19:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

agreeclassic 49 652

vote type 1 9 537

By kalleylynn - 08/06/2013 06:38 - United States - Steward

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

agreeclassic 66 215

vote type 1 5 157

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Sunday 9 June 2013 4:36

Hey in totally glad they can still do that shit.. Just not while they are staying at my house, in my parents bed...