xXalexpeelXx

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Xxalexpeelxx's favorite FMLs

By Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 537 861

vote type 1 53 229

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

agreeclassic 54 972

vote type 1 6 211

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 08:00 - United States - Temecula

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

agreeclassic 46 992

vote type 1 6 009

By Anonymous - 17/06/2012 08:50 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my boss gave me a new assignment at work: go online and look for my own replacement, then interview him. FML

agreeclassic 31 816

vote type 1 2 222

By aranya - 14/06/2012 22:51 - Netherlands - Hengevelde

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

agreeclassic 56 855

vote type 1 3 900