The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Gwen · 7 August 2025, 20:00 ·Kolomna, Russia 🌶️ Spicy

To infinity and beyond

Today, it's much easier to get things on now in our 40s than it was when we were younger. However, if I want to boost things even further, I don't need adult movies, but an episode of the Buzz Lightyear show from 2000s. This guy gives me such a girl boner that my husband now calls our sexual stuff "Lightyearing around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 380

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Porn addiction is real · 6 February 2026, 12:00 🌶️ Spicy

Freaks like me

Today, I finally decided I was sick of watching porn all the damn time and deleted the messaging apps I use for it. Now I've realized how attached I'd gotten to the freaks on there. I'm painfully sad and lonely now and I can't recover the accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 319

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Stevey · 17 July 2025, 15:00 ·Atlanta, United States

Work it out

Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 375

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Emily · 7 January 2025, 00:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

What is going on here?

Today, I went to my BFF's 16th birthday party. As I arrived, a VERY cute (and familiar looking) boy said to me, "You look hot! Wanna kiss?" I've made out at parties before so I agreed. As we did, I recognized my pal as a slightly butch, if pretty, GIRL I know. Worst part - her kisses are better than my boyfriend's. Am I gay now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 802

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Anonymous · 27 January 2025, 12:00 ·Orange Park, United States

A rock and a hard place

Today, I’ve been having an affair with my cousin’s husband for the last 16 years. For 3-ish months, when my husband gets drunk, he accuses us of cheating & threatens to tell everyone. Sober, he remembers nothing. We are constantly worried he will tell but are too in love to end it. Both in bad marriages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 2 112

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Anonymous · 1 July 2026, 00:00 ·Cologne, Germany

Bomb!

Today, I jumped into a pool from seven meters high, landed on my ass, and got a free enema. My ass still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 449

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Anonymous · 8 August 2026, 22:00 ·Dallas, United States

New fangled technology

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and tried to act like I belonged there. I used the wrong machine, adjusted something I shouldn’t have, and had to ask a teenager how to reset it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 292

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Anonymous · 29 June 2024, 20:00 ·Canada

Dog park blues

Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 692

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No way · 16 July 2025, 00:00 ·Bradford, United Kingdom

Snoopy

Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 568

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Jdogg · 15 November 2025, 00:00

Home alone

Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 426

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I'm sorry... · 17 December 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Tally

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "obsessed" with my new female coworker. She gave me a piece of paper with dozens of tally marks on it. What were the tally marks keeping count of? Every time I've mentioned my coworker to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 1 046

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Anonymous · 8 September 2026, 22:00 ·Denmark

Surprised, indeed

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by cleaning the entire apartment while she was away. Three hours later, everything looked perfect. She came home, looked around, and immediately asked why her plant was missing. I had thrown it out because I thought it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 384

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Anonymous · 22 March 2025, 22:00 ·Canada

Girl power!

Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 593

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Anonymous · 7 November 2023, 22:00 ·Osaka, Japan 🌶️ Spicy

Oddly specific question

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 688

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Sad vegan girl · 15 August 2025, 09:00 ·New York, United States

Disconnect

Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 1 354

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Despair · 2 April 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Deluxe Memory Man

Today, I was at my girlfriend’s family dinner when her father suddenly raised a glass and said, “Let’s all raise a toast to the new couple!” I looked at my girlfriend, confused, only to realize he meant her brother and his now fiancé, who had just announced their engagement an hour earlier. I quickly but awkwardly raised my glass to avoid admitting my memory is dogshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 410

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Anonymous · 8 January 2025, 22:00 ·Dallas, United States

Absolute beginner

Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 571

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Anonymous · 25 August 2026, 22:00 ·Aurora, United States

Irrigation

Today, after my neighbor asked me to water her plants while she was away, and I carefully followed her instructions for 6 days, she came home. She stared at the living room and asked why I'd watered the fake plants but forgotten the real ones on the balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 394

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Fred · 28 January 2024, 15:00 ·Perth, Australia

The best form of flattery?

Today, I mistakenly sent a voice message to my boss while imitating him in a comical way. The message contained my spot-on impression, complete with exaggerated jargon and phrases he frequently uses. I didn't realize it until I received a reply saying, "LOL, nailed it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 827

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Anonymous · 7 November 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Chivalry

Today, while holding the door open for a stranger, I thought I was being polite. She walked through, smiled at me, and said, "Thanks, but you didn’t have to follow me into the bathroom." I hadn’t noticed the door led to the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 413

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Anonymous · 2 August 2025, 03:00 ·Houston, United States

Intense humming

Today, while using a public bathroom, I was singing to myself because I thought I was alone and not in a rush. When I opened the door, three people were waiting in line. One of them rushed in behind me, another seemed really annoyed, and the third person said, "I love that song!", confirming that they heard everything FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 549

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Anonymous · 15 October 2026, 20:00 ·United States

No good deed…

Today, I offered to drive my friends to the airport because their taxi was expensive. We left early and arrived with plenty of time. Then I realized I’d parked in the short-stay car park. I paid more for parking than I would have paid for a taxi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 299

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Anonymous · 9 August 2025, 03:00 ·United States

How to make it awkward for everyone

Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 470

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fasterthanyou · 23 October 2026, 15:00 ·The Dalles, United States

Always wash your veggies

Today, I realized that my dogs have been hosing my tomatoes with pee every time they go out. Not just the plants, the tomatoes I'd been eating all summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 334

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Anonymous · 15 December 2025, 15:00

Monday morning grind

Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 387

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Anonymous · 22 June 2023, 15:00

Assumptions

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 2 915

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Mental minefield · 21 September 2026, 03:00 ·New York, United States

Suspicious mind

Today, after my husband read about mental load and about what he could do to help with mine, I came home to a clean house, the chores done, and dinner on the stove. I was more anxious and stressed than ever, thinking, "What did he fuck up that I'm gonna find and have to fix at the worst possible time?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 533

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Anonymous · 23 September 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Uber unfair

Today, a guy who'd never used ride-share before asked for help at the airport. I thought we hadn't figured it out yet, so I canceled mine, which doubled my fare when I ordered it a minute later because we'd actually had figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 249

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me · 4 July 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Kinda ****** up

Today, after presenting my husband with a more than fair request to pay me an hourly wage for being a stay-at-home mom, he laughed his ass off and told me if I want money so badly, I could get a job. He'd rather strangers in daycare raise our babies than pay me what I'm worth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 867

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I don't have an anger problem, the world has a moron problem · 29 December 2025, 12:00

Oh, the irony

Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 826

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