The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Okkkkkkk · 4 February 2025, 20:00 ·Buffalo, United States

Thanks, YouTube!

Today, I tried to trim my beard before a date. I watched a YouTube tutorial and thought, "How hard could it be?" Turns out, very hard. I ended up with one side of my beard looking fabulous and the other side looking like a patch of dried grass. I had to cancel the date and spent the evening watching Netflix with my cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 You deserved it 555

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Anonymous · 7 October 2026, 00:00 ·Chicago, United States

Beep beep

Today, I was making dinner when the smoke alarm started going off. I opened all the windows and stood there waving a towel at it like an idiot. Then I realized that the alarm was coming from the apartment next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 You deserved it 255

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Anonymous · 5 September 2026, 03:00 ·Lake Zurich, United States

Fight!

Today, I told my girlfriend about a huge fight I had with my female best friend. This friend no longer wants anything to do with me, and I was obviously upset about it. Instead of being supportive, all my girlfriend said was, "Well maybe now you'll shut the fuck up about her for once." FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 You deserved it 582

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Just a joke · 17 September 2025, 15:00

Don't mess with crazy

Today, I saw my buddy at the mechanic's on speaker with his wife. I did a very fake female voice and said, “He’s here with me! He’s my man now!” He rushed home to see all his stuff on fire on the front lawn. I had no idea how psycho she was and now he wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 You deserved it 684

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Anonymous · 28 January 2024, 20:00 ·Oakham, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

To each their own

Today, I accidentally revealed to a close friend that I have a stash of furry porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 675

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Anonymous · 19 September 2025, 15:00 ·United States

I'm having a hard time, OK?

Today, I handed my phone to the cashier so they could scan my digital coupons. I forgot I had my grocery list open in Notes. The top of the list read: “1) Wine. 2) More wine. 3) Emergency chocolate. 4) Hide evidence.” The cashier didn’t say anything, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 327

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Anonymous · 25 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Lost

Today, I tried to take a shortcut home. I got lost and had to ask a stranger for directions. They pointed to the street sign above me that literally had my street's name on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 477

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Tim · 17 November 2024, 12:00 ·Bakersfield, United States

K9 Unit

Today, some of my buddies were playing truth or dare. As I got to the group, one guy was dared to ding dong ditch. He did so, and the owner of the house let his big ol' dog out to chase us. It only ran after me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 580

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Anja · 5 July 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Rushed off my feet

Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 541

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Anonymous · 1 December 2025, 00:00

Wise words of wisdom to consider

Today, I realized that in some of my early relationships the girls were so possessive and pushed for merger and marriage that they scared me, so now I can only be reliably attracted to women who don't want me. The slightest sign of interest in more than a fling and I'm out. It's been like this for 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 425

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Marrrissa · 15 December 2024, 03:00 ·United States

Spare part

Today, I'm all alone for the holidays. The guy I was kicking it with ghosted me. I went to the guy I rejected for being too overweight for my taste, and not only has he lost weight, he now has a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 1 268

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Anonymous · 14 June 2025, 22:00 ·United States

That went well

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 678

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Clean up slob ass · 8 August 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Work/life balancing act

Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 1 275

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Anonymous · 23 October 2024, 09:00 ·Munich, Germany 🌶️ Spicy

I've got a lot going on

Today, I, a fucking international student who's been here for like two weeks, ditched the end of a lecture because I had to get off in the men's bathroom, after being degraded by an ex who hates me. Instead of moving up in life, I do this stupid shit because I like being treated like entertaining garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 701

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Z…… · 4 April 2024, 22:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Routine

Today, I told my husband that I thought we were old enough to not need sex anymore. His immediate response was, "In that case, I'm not too old to be single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 1 546

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Anonymous · 4 September 2026, 20:00 ·Holly Springs, United States

Hermit time

Today, I’ve been divorced for six years. Dating is in the toilet, and so far my options are short, emotionally unavailable, or married. At this point, I’d like a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 407

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Anonymous · 21 March 2023, 04:00 ·New York, United States

Nice try

Today, I told my boss that my grandma died to get a day off work, but then my grandma showed up at the office looking for me because she wanted to go shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 2 013

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Slow brain day · 9 January 2024, 09:00 ·United States

On the fritz

Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 540

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Anonymous · 28 January 2026, 03:00

Rubbing it in

Today, I was at a party at my ex's house; he'd invited the whole team. We of course don't talk, but I just figured out he had a girlfriend. He said it right in my face and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 363

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mistreated mistress · 19 June 2023, 10:00

The Bridges of Madison County 2: Electric Boogaloo

Today, despite the fact that we love each other and are perfect together, my boyfriend still refuses to leave his wife. Apparently it will "mess his kids up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 2 920

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Milly · 23 October 2023, 02:00

Seems fair

Today, my boyfriend gave me a used Nintendo Switch for my birthday. I got mad that he gave me a used one, since I'm worth more than that. Now I have no boyfriend and no Switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 2 540

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Single · 10 January 2026, 12:00

No more fun

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement because I told him, "I've had fun, now I want to settle down in life." According to him, our marriage should be our fun. I have no idea what he's talking about. Yeah, mortgages and babies are such fun. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 906

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Anonymous · 22 July 2026, 00:00 ·Waynesburg, United States

Hangry

Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 410

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Cindy · 5 June 2023, 15:00

Extorsion time

Today, my boyfriend’s parents saw me making out with my other boyfriend. They’re now asking me to pay them 300€, or they’ll tell him I’m cheating. They know I’m broke and that if we break up I’ll be homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 3 340

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Maryse · 28 December 2024, 00:00 ·Mississauga, Canada

Shooting yourself in the foot

Today, I randomly hooked up with a hot guy, just to ruin it by saying he’s like my twin brother, and now he won’t reply to my messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 653

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Anonymous · 26 October 2024, 15:00 ·Blackpool, United Kingdom

Oi! Get back here!

Today, while having lunch on a pier, I tried to take an artsy photo of my food for Instagram. Just as I was about to snap the pic, a seagull swooped in and snatched my chips right out of the paper bag in my hand. I didn't even get a photo of the robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 635

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Curious George · 19 July 2026, 15:00 ·Denver, United States

Today's mystery item

Today, I found an old USB drive and spent an hour trying to open it because I was sure it had important files on it. It contained one blurry photo of my thumb and a Word doc titled “Do not open", which was actually blank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 263

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Anonymous · 7 June 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Self-esteem issues

Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 644

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Anonymous · 2 November 2024, 03:00 ·Canada

Bad guy

Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old niece, who rudely but cutely asked me why my nose is so big. Trying to make light of it, I told her, "It's because I lie a lot, just like Pinocchio." Now she won’t stop asking who I lied to and told my sister and her husband that I’m a "bad guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 527

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Cheap date · 30 October 2025, 15:00

Skint

Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 890

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