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The all-time greatest FMLs

Temptation… barbecue?

By being loyal sucks - 05/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to a colleague's house for a barbecue. Another colleague's wife was there, and when I say there were sparks between us, there were SPARKS! Later, her husband discreetly informed me that they're in an open relationship. I just wish I didn't have my boring unadventurous wife at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 823

Risky drink

By TJ - 08/02/2026 12:00

Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 340

Drive away

By Suzanne - 02/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I took my car in because of a strange rattling noise. The mechanic charged me nothing, just handed me back my reusable water bottle that had been rolling around under the passenger seat for three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 421

No fun

By Get your kink on - 23/01/2026 03:00

Today, I asked my husband what he'd think of a threesome. He said, "The fun wouldn't be worth the stress, it's a drama bomb waiting to happen." What a bore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 643

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 663

Help wanted

By What do I do? - 17/01/2026 09:00

Today, my husband dropped a bombshell when he served me divorce papers and a set of tests proving that our sons (7 and 9 years-old) are not his. I'm alone at home, scared shitless, and my poor kids don't understand where their dad is. I can't take them to their bio dad, since he died four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 459

Shut up and play the hits

By Stefan - 19/04/2025 09:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, I asked my 10 year-old guitar student why Good Friday is a holiday. He answered, "We remember Jesus Christ's crucifixion. Isn't it sad to kind of celebrate someone's death? Well, I don't care, I just enjoy the free holiday and I don't believe in magic anyway!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 573

Not a morning person

By Anna backwards is annA - 19/07/2026 12:00 - Germany - Saarbrücken

Today, I woke up early for work, then yanked my phone by the charger cord on my nightstand to look at it. I gravely underestimated the force by which I pulled the charger and the whiplash of my phone popped me square in the nose. Hard. I have a bruise now. I hope people don't think my boyfriend is a domestic abuser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 282

Social media etiquette

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to secretly screenshot my gym crush’s Instagram story. I sent them a heart reaction instead. Then I panicked and tried to unsend it. I then accidentally did it again. They messaged me, “You good?” No. No, I am not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 526

Honey pot

By DeadnGone01 - 05/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Miami

Today, this hot girl sent me a friend request. I accepted it and began to chat her up. She asked me if I was single. I told her I was, and proceeded to arrange a date for some drinks. Moments later, my wife sends me a screenshot of my conversation with the girl, with the caption, “Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 2 751

So frustrating!

By Unsuccessful Prankster - 13/06/2023 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I got those stickers that say "Voice Activated; Say Loudly: PAPER TOWEL NOW!" I then placed one in a public bathroom and waited in the stall to hear someone yell the phrase. I waited for thirty minutes and heard the machine go off several times, with no shouting at all. In other words, no one fell for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 637

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I sent an email to my boss complaining about how lazy one of my coworkers is and how I’m always having to pick up the slack. I realized too late that I'd Cc'd the coworker I was talking about. His reply was basically, “You’re welcome for doing my job while you waste your time complaining.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 529

Erm, OK?

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 439

Context

By Anonymous - 05/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found out that a old friend of mine and her man broke up because he cheated on her. For context, we stopped being friends after he came onto me after a night at a bar, and we semi-hooked up. I'm also a gay man. Should I reach out? FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 551

We meet again

By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 627

Do you have no sense of smell?

By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 09:00

Today, I tried to surprise my partner by lighting candles all over the living room. It looked magical… until one candle melted the TV remote into a puddle of plastic. We spent our romantic evening trying to Google “How to change channels without a remote.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 454

Good chat

By UBER KAREN MODE - 03/10/2025 09:00

Today, I joined what I thought was my weekly team meeting on Zoom. I launched into a rant about our broken coffee machine, which I've been asking for weeks for it to be fixed, before someone interrupted with, “Erm, this is a parent-teacher conference.” I don’t even have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 435

Boo! Get better jokes!

By Bad open mic night - 25/09/2025 00:00

Today, I thought I was alone in the breakroom, so as I reheated my lunch, I started practicing my stand-up comedy routine out loud. I was halfway through a joke about constipation when the vending machine guy poked his head out from behind the vending machine he was restocking and said, “Don’t quit your day job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 429

Pleased to meet you

By Mano steel - 03/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I arrived for a job interview and I wanted to give a firm handshake to make a good impression, because apparently that's a thing. I squeezed the interviewer's hand so hard I heard a "crack" and they winced in pain. I'm never taking advice from a random LinkedIn post ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 694

Read the room

By Sarah - 11/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 635

Tipping culture wars

By Anonymous - 03/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, during a first date, we discovered we had complete opposite views on tipping. Neither of us wanted to back down, so we spent an hour debating economics instead of getting to know each other. At the end, the server thanked us for the entertainment and asked if we'd be coming back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 400

Don't believe the hype

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was hyping myself up to work out after weeks of being a lazy slob. I slapped my workout gear on, got my Spotify playlist ready, and just as I was about to start, my friend texted me asking if I wanted pizza. I’m now in my workout clothes, eating pizza on his couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 515

Sharing is caring

By Lost Reggie - 03/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my generosity towards friends, family, artists, Patreon, and Twitch streamers has left me on the brink of financial instability. I was counting on ROI to keep helping others, but now I need to set firm boundaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 748

Checking in

By Sarah - 09/08/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I joined a Zoom call thinking it was a casual check-in. I was wearing a hoodie, sat cross-legged on my bed, and was sipping wine. I realised as it began that it was a formal client presentation with the CEO present. No one said anything… until after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 694

Good work!

By Annette - 11/06/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I gave a presentation to a group of international clients. Wanting to impress them, I tried to say "Thank you" in their language, which I thought was Portuguese. Turns out, I was speaking Spanish to a room full of French Canadians. Their confused faces were priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 757

Food guilt

By Anonymous - 08/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is out with his buddies so I decided to have a solo night in and ordered Uber Eats for dinner. Two hours later, I was craving cheesecake and ordered through Uber Eats again like a little food gremlin. I got the same delivery guy, who now knows EXACTLY what I did. I'm hiding in my house until he leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 426

FOR SALE

By Only me - 07/04/2025 22:00 - France

Today, on the advice of a girl from sales, I sent a company-wide email with the subject line, "FOR SALE - 2010 Toyota Camry." I realized the social faux pas a minute later when my department head replied-to-all, "FOR SALE - half eaten sandwich." Now everyone thinks I’m a dumbass for confusing company emails for Craigslist, and for believing anyone who works in sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 560

No excuse

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I posted a selfie on Instagram showing off my new haircut. However, I hadn't noticed that I'd forgot to switch back from my company's official Instagram account to my private account. The caption? "Feeling cute, might delete later." It stayed up for over an hour, and my future as a social media manager is up for debate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 739

Anger management classes going well?

By Annageewhiz34 - 24/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I saw the guy I met on Tinder and went out with, only to be told “I’m not ready for a relationship, let’s just be friends” out on a date kissing another girl. I interrupted the date to rip him a new one for lying to me, only to be escorted out by the restaurant manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 1 097

Winner winner, chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 09:00

Today, I wrecked my car on the way to work, all because I could get free food from a restaurant for my team winning a game. My husband suggested it. Now I’m without a car, with massive hospital bills, all for the most expensive fast food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 511

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The Top

Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 327

You deserved it 28 831

Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 966

You deserved it 22 603

Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 960

You deserved it 2 783

Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 053

You deserved it 5 204

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 387

You deserved it 41 544

Today, I tried to put my reclining chair back. My cat and dog were sitting on the very top. It went up in an unexpectedly forceful manner, sending them flying, causing my dog to fall, and my cat to cling for dear life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 365