Today, it's been a year since my wife agreed to an open marriage. A friend said at the time that she would get a lot more sex than me, and would end up leaving me. I ignored him because he's a basement dwelling Trump supporter who's never had a girlfriend. Turns out he was completely right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband of nearly a decade told me he's been sleeping with his best friend for a year, and also a couple times with my best friend. Marriage destroyed. Life in shambles. FML
Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job opportunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML
Today, my wife's friend's husband broke the unwritten "man rule" of not being TOO good of a husband. He turned over a new leaf and started really busting his ass, so his wife bragged on him to my wife, and now she's sulking and refusing sex. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML
Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML
Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML
Today, I got a message from an old friend’s wife. She said they were having a reunion at their place and invited me to come. She spent the whole night trying to get me to hook up with him! She wanted out of the marriage and thought that if she could get him to cheat, she’d get a divorce. FML
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Top comments
wrecklesswfire 3
it doesn’t matter who you are, everyone saw this coming, I guess except for you
Iamthebanzai22 21
How the **** is this a surprise? Just compare any girl's inbox to a guy's. We are lucky if we get 3 real messages a year while women's inboxes are overflowing with guys who want to bang them.
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Comments (9)
Iamthebanzai22 21
How the **** is this a surprise? Just compare any girl's inbox to a guy's. We are lucky if we get 3 real messages a year while women's inboxes are overflowing with guys who want to bang them.
wrecklesswfire 3
it doesn’t matter who you are, everyone saw this coming, I guess except for you
Nazmazh 18
Stopped clocks and all that.
Billsonhamsen 17
Maybe stop believing everything the News tells you. Half the country supports Trump even after years and years of media brainwashing. No president has ever been gone after the way that they have gone after him. I don't think he's a great guy and I didn't vote for him the first time around but I have eyes and my own brain.
FluffythePink 23
It's terrifying that half your country has fallen for clear and blatant Russian interference. Putin and his cronies WANT Trump and all their misinformation and social media factories are feeding that into the net narrative. Y'all unwitting KGB stooges and Chinese Commies. ******* idiots the lot of you.
n3rdn3ss 8
Sucks you have a friend like that, but dang, those people actually said a truth for once. So yeah, it's almost always that the wife will get more playtime than the husband, especially if the husband is the one suggesting it.
great_nate 26
The only reason someone agrees to an open relationship is because they want it even more.
L0life29 6
how’s that feel you liberal piece of shit!? the exact same thing trump was doing you did!!! you’re a hypocrite. I do t feel bad for you at all, loser
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Yeah, I think there are plenty of people who don't support Trump (me) that KNOW that open relationships/marriages are a horrible idea. But what do I know?
Plcx 8
It seems that trumpism and wisdom can get along after all…