The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Heartless

By Out of Pocket to all! - 12/03/2026 15:00

Today, I was reminded of my ex who works and now lives in Manama, Bahrain. How? My sister and her in-laws called me a heartless dick for not being worried about her. We broke up 15 years ago, she's a pediatrician and an OB-GYN, and the ONLY reason why they care is because they used to get free services and meds from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 90

Red tape

By Anonymous - 17/09/2022 14:30 - Slovenia - Destrnik

Today, I found out I can't enroll in a course I need for my degree. I don't have the right prerequisites. They weren't posted anywhere. The applications for similar courses I could've taken instead have closed last week. I lost a year and a fuckton of money because I waited for the last minute, and now I can't get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 1 581

Night time ferals

By Anonymous - 04/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the middle of the night is the time my Mom's crazy cats like to climb all over everything. They're adult cats but are still like kittens, so I get scared out of my wits whenever they knock something over in the middle of the night, because my mom didn't kitten-proof things for adult cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 165

The main attraction

By Born Slippy - 23/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking on a rainy pavement in new shoes. Suddenly, I slipped, flailed my arms wildly, and landed flat on my back. The worst part? I was in front of a pub window. It was the middle of the day but still had people in it. Thankfully, no one applauded, because British people prefer to smirk in silence. A kid did give me a thumbs-up, which was nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 93

He hath returned

By Come to think of it.... it does! - 09/03/2026 12:00

Today, my mom gave me the litany of a lifetime for raising a devil child. Why so? She and my daughter who is 7 years-old attended mass, and after the priest told the parable of The Prodigal Son, she raised her hand. The priest approached, asked and put the mic on her, and she said, "Sorry Father, but that story sucks! Its all about favoritism!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 105

Some people just want to watch…

By Z…… - 08/08/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend spent half his paycheck on gourmet steaks, bacon, and all sorts of other meat. When I reminded him we were trying to go meatless to help the planet, he said, "Yeah, I'm done with that. The planet can burn." We'd only been vegan three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 2 168

Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 118

My little dude

By Jenni - 17/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet for a routine check-up. The vet asked if my cat was stressed at all, so I confidently replied, "No, he's a pretty chill little dude." That's when my cat decided to hiss and spit his way to the top of the shelves on the other side of the examination room. He's not as chill as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 162

I'm fine, I'm OK

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 22:00

Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 62

The staircase

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 16:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, the elevator at work was taking forever so I decided to make a change and take the stairs instead. I slipped on the second step and spent the next few minutes laying there as people asked if I was OK. My pride is bruised… as well as my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 121

Cats > Humans

By Breebree - 06/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized I’m always being told how “amazing” I am, yet no guy wants to choose me. I’m that girl who is always overlooked and friend-zoned. I have so much love to give yet I never get any of it in return. I guess I should adopt lots of cats and write off guys forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 265

Snapped

By Amorie - 25/04/2023 18:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while I was normally and gently cleaning my glasses with my shirt they snapped in half. This is the second time this has happened, with the exact same glasses. The optometrist got me another pair last time, but this time they said no because it was too suspicious. I now have to buy $150 glasses again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 646

What's his problem?

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was selected to go on a business trip for the first time in over a decade. I called my brother about it, who then proceeded to call into question every single aspect of the trip, affirming that his wife did everything different on her trips. I had to hang up before he had me questioning my own employment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 84

You know it when you see it

By FutureDishwasher - 29/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I'm reviewing articles for a medical journal. The stuff submitted that was partially written by AI is such utter crap, I have to take a break every 30 minutes so I don't kill myself or tell the authors they're morons. It actually makes me miss being a minimum wage dishwasher in summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 74

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 28/03/2026 15:00

Today, I got into yet another fight with my wife because I keep telling her Los Angeles is too expensive and that we need to move somewhere cheaper. But she won't listen. She keeps saying all these high prices are going to blow up in the government's faces. I agree, they probably are, but when? Tomorrow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 68

Unilateral

By puppyless82 - 02/11/2025 12:00

Today, my husband re-homed the puppy I got because he chewed his sandals. I spent $5000 on the puppy, including microchipping, certifications, etc. He told me, “That’ll teach you to stop spending our money on dumb shit.” Oh, and I have to get him new sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 517

Diversity hire

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, on my second shift at my job, I was fired for “ruining the communication of coworkers” AKA I don’t speak Spanish. This was known before I was hired and I live in California. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 75

Bad guy

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 00:02 - United States - Belleville

Today, I realized I’m not my boyfriend’s “type” anymore. People say I’m beautiful but I guess he wants the filtered, social media-butterfly type. He won’t break up with me because he doesn’t want to be the bad guy, considering everything I’ve done and do for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 175

Probably a Monday

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, running late for work, I ran outside and the door handle literally broke off my vehicle when I pulled to open it. I climbed in through the passenger door, turned on my car, and the windshield wipers were on… swiping a fresh $78 parking ticket across my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 139

The opposite of hustle culture

By frustrated and chequed out - 12/02/2024 09:00 - Canada - Duncan

Today, I tried to deposit a few cheques in the bank before they expired, and all I needed was the ATM. Little did I know that the bank changed their hours and now closes on the weekend. I’m busy during the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 265

Blinded

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my phone’s flashlight turned on in my pocket while I was at the movie theater. I didn’t notice until the stranger next to me whispered, “Hey, your dick is glowing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 144

Love hearts, love hurts

By Suzyy - 14/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is traveling to his terminally ill grandmother's for Valentine's Day weekend. He said he "doesn't know if she'll pass soon; gotta visit her just in case." He gave me a box of chocolate-coated strawberries to make up for it. I'm allergic to strawberries, and he has known this for the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 132

Disappointed

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 15:00

Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 182

Not my fault!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 85

You can't explain that

By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 16:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I was explaining a complex work issue to my team. I moved my chair back so I could see them all. The leg of my chair went into a hole in the floor, causing it to fall over and me with it. I tried to finish explaining but everyone was laughing so hard they couldn't hear. Then they realized I couldn't get up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 105

Well played, Deborah

By Anonymous - 11/04/2025 03:00

Today, my bitch ex has successfully trained our daughter to refer to her second husband as “Dad” and me as Mister, or Sir, or even by my first name a few times. This has to be abuse of some kind, mental anguish, cruel and unusual bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 95

Always prepared

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was going to have my first overnight with the guy I’ve been seeing. Upon learning I'd packed my own condoms, he told me it was vulgar, unladylike, and suspicious that I had them. When I pointed out that he had condoms, he said, “Well yeah I’m a guy. I’m supposed to have those.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 93

I'm out

By tired af - 25/01/2026 20:00

Today, I’m a nurse on night shift and I went to a daytime family brunch without adjusting my sleep schedule. Halfway through a serious conversation about finances, I nodded off and started dreaming I was charting vitals. I woke up mid-sentence saying, “Blood pressure stable,” to my aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 71

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 22:00

Today, I realized I’m what they call “first world poor.” I own a phone and a laptop paid for with credit, and every time I use them it’s to check my emails to see all my new job application rejections, and to check my bank so I can watch my savings dwindling away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

Unhealthy relationship

By Lance from the Serfs is a snacc - 03/05/2021 00:30

Today, I had to admit that I'm polyamorous. Well, I'm in several relationships. Parasocial relationships. With YouTubers and Twitch streamers. I talk to them through the screen. I can't remember what it's like to have real-life friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 1 128

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The Top

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 916

You deserved it 2 968

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 565

You deserved it 2 745

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 512

You deserved it 21 167

Today, I had dinner at a local fast-food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 815

Today, I had my first "hot" dream in a while. In the dream, my husband and I finally got cozy and comfortable, but just as we were about to start our banging, our toddlers interrupted us. So, my kids are cockblocking me even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 268

Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 525