The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Come to think of it.... it does! · 9 March 2026, 12:00

He hath returned

Today, my mom gave me the litany of a lifetime for raising a devil child. Why so? She and my daughter who is 7 years-old attended mass, and after the priest told the parable of The Prodigal Son, she raised her hand. The priest approached, asked and put the mic on her, and she said, "Sorry Father, but that story sucks! Its all about favoritism!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 105

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Z…… · 8 August 2023, 06:00

Some people just want to watch…

Today, my boyfriend spent half his paycheck on gourmet steaks, bacon, and all sorts of other meat. When I reminded him we were trying to go meatless to help the planet, he said, "Yeah, I'm done with that. The planet can burn." We'd only been vegan three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 2 176

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Anonymous · 31 July 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Just out of curiosity, where is this place exactly?

Today, I wanted to take my wife and kids to visit some of my favorite hiking trails while visiting my hometown. It would’ve been great, had it not been for the fact that several horny perverts think fucking outside is a great idea. We stumbled upon at least three couples out in the open before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 129

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Breebree · 6 July 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Cats > Humans

Today, I realized I’m always being told how “amazing” I am, yet no guy wants to choose me. I’m that girl who is always overlooked and friend-zoned. I have so much love to give yet I never get any of it in return. I guess I should adopt lots of cats and write off guys forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 267

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Anonymous · 24 November 2020, 11:02

Great quality control

Today, I got a job! When they sent me the offer letter, I sent it back ASAP after being satisfied with the salary and benefits. My problem? I wrote that I'd accepted the wrong position (in the interview it went by different names) The irony? I'm supposed to be in QC, ie., I'm supposed to have a keen eye for errors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 871

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Anonymous · 13 November 2024, 16:00 ·Montréal, Canada

The staircase

Today, the elevator at work was taking forever so I decided to make a change and take the stairs instead. I slipped on the second step and spent the next few minutes laying there as people asked if I was OK. My pride is bruised… as well as my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 122

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Amorie · 25 April 2023, 18:00 ·Melbourne, Australia

Snapped

Today, while I was normally and gently cleaning my glasses with my shirt they snapped in half. This is the second time this has happened, with the exact same glasses. The optometrist got me another pair last time, but this time they said no because it was too suspicious. I now have to buy $150 glasses again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 648

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Hady · 25 June 2021, 00:01

Scammers gonna scam

Today, I found out that the $100,000 scholarship I "won" was a scam. I found it on a website. When I won, they asked for a "processing fee" that I begged my brother to let me borrow. The website has vanished into internet wasteland and I have no way of paying back the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 2 302

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Meanwhile we barely ever fuck · 6 July 2025, 00:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Gooners rise up

Today, my boyfriend left his laptop open, signed into a chat program. I learned why he started working out and eating right. Not to look good for me or be healthier. No, he planned his entire diet and exercise plan so he could shoot the biggest loads possible during "goon sessions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 148

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Business · 6 February 2025, 15:00 ·Canada

I'm OK, I swear

Today, I walked into an office at work, ready to ask everyone a question. I then blanked and forgot why I was there the second everyone turned to look at me. I just stood there, nodded, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 134

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Anonymous · 25 October 2026, 22:00 ·United States

Vultures

Today, I inherited almost nine figures from my grandmother. I also had to cut ties with my family and friends, leave my boyfriend and kids, and move across the country after they showed their true colors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 31 October 2023, 00:02 ·Belleville, United States

Bad guy

Today, I realized I’m not my boyfriend’s “type” anymore. People say I’m beautiful but I guess he wants the filtered, social media-butterfly type. He won’t break up with me because he doesn’t want to be the bad guy, considering everything I’ve done and do for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 176

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WhoNeedsFriends · 28 August 2021, 16:01 ·Staten Island, United States

You can't handle the truth!

Today, my friends held a roast for my birthday, as per my request. They went pretty hard and I got a little uncomfortable. Afterwards, I told them that their jokes were a little too far, and they said all of their roasts were 100% genuine, and they just needed an excuse to tell me their problems with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 1 665

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Susan01 · 11 January 2025, 12:00 ·Carson City, United States

Core strength

Today, I gave yoga a try for what seemed like the tenth time. I underestimated how it's actually harder than it looks, and my gross unexpected sweat made my mat uber-slippery, and I ended up sliding into the person next to me. We both toppled over like human dominoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 160

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??? · 3 May 2025, 03:00 ·Denver, United States

Freak out

Today, I woke up from a nap to a weird buzzing sound in my ear. Panicked, I swatted at my ear to get rid of what I thought was a fly. Instead, I hit my phone, which was on vibrate, and it fell on the tiled floor, spinning the screen into a cracked, shattered mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 320

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God dammit · 6 December 2025, 20:00

Thanks, asshole

Today, the new guy at my workplace was on his phone so much that he has become solely responsible for a new rule: no one is allowed to have their phone on their person, except on breaks. So, I guess that if my severely disabled mom ever has an emergency at home, she'll have to fend for herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 79

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Anonymous · 22 December 2025, 12:00

Not my fault!

Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 85

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Dodged a nuke. · 8 September 2025, 10:00 ·Mexico

Quite right

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to give her my phone's passcode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 196

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Anonymous · 13 September 2023, 00:02

Classic nice guy rhetoric

Today, the girl I like would rather meet potential partners online, some in different states, and wonders why nothing works out. Apparently the guy who took her on dates, AKA me, is just friend material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 855

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tired af · 25 January 2026, 20:00

I'm out

Today, I’m a nurse on night shift and I went to a daytime family brunch without adjusting my sleep schedule. Halfway through a serious conversation about finances, I nodded off and started dreaming I was charting vitals. I woke up mid-sentence saying, “Blood pressure stable,” to my aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 71

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Anonymous · 28 April 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Priorities

Today, I called off my wedding because I found out he was cheating, but my daughter is more upset that she spent $400 on a bridesmaid's gown and now can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 121

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Anonymous · 24 September 2023, 14:00

Breadwinner

Today, I was arguing with my fiancée, having the same argument I had with my ex wife. “Why should I get off early for the kids?”, “Why can’t you do it?” Because I’d forfeit $200 per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 699

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Anonymous · 1 May 2025, 09:00 ·Jesteburg, Germany

Close proximity

Today, I am appalled that my neighbor was fired from his job. Not because I pity him, but because now he will not only light his stinking grill under my living room window every single night, but also play his radio outside all day long. Also right under my window. His garden is HUGE by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 109

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Anonymous · 14 January 2026, 22:00

Many such cases

Today, I realized I’m what they call “first world poor.” I own a phone and a laptop paid for with credit, and every time I use them it’s to check my emails to see all my new job application rejections, and to check my bank so I can watch my savings dwindling away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · 4 November 2024, 15:00 ·Romeoville, United States

I'm so tired

Today, I'm locked out of my phone, out of my email, and out of my credit card. All websites to restore access to all of these send text messages to your phone or an app to unlock them. On top of that, I only got 3 hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 28 May 2026, 03:00 ·United States

Clueless

Today, I told my crush I liked him. Instead of rejecting me or telling me that he might have felt similar, he decided to pretend to be dumb and clueless and just kept asking who my crush was. I found out later that he knew all along but he just wanted to ragebait me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 94

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Anonymous · 7 July 2021, 18:01 🌶️ Spicy

Remember me?

Today, I had a flat tire and took it to the local tire store. Turns out, the guy I had sex with once and ghosted was working there. He fixed my flat and asked if I remembered him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 1 736

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Anonymous · 14 December 2022, 18:00

Bigmouth strikes again

Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 840

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Anonymous · 17 February 2022, 00:01

Cat? Priceless

Today, I was so lethargic talking to my co-worker about her raise that I accidently told her to celebrate with a family vacation. I totally forgot that she just started divorce proceedings and that her mom is dying. Meanwhile, I'm stuck making $42,000 a year, and have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 825

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Anonymous · 2 April 2023, 14:00

It's gonna eat me!

Today, my boyfriend told me he had a catphobia, but I forgot to tell him my mom has a new kitten, so when we went round he freaked out so much trying to escape this tiny kitten following him, it reminded me very much of Captain Hook trying to escape being eaten by the crocodile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 713

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