The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

and then drunk dialed me · 5 April 2026, 12:00 ·San Jose, United States

It's all in the game

Today, after seven months of my supporting him, including paying all the bills, cleaning the house, and cooking, my unemployed "aspiring rapper" boyfriend finally got paid for his music. Did he buy me something nice? No, he called his boys to hit the club and pissed away everything he'd earned and then some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 308

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 26 April 2026, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Cruel dilemma

Today, I have both gout and diabetic neuropathy, meaning my feet are both too numb to feel pain while also being too painful to walk. It is not a fun sensation. Not at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 94

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 8 July 2026, 09:00 ·Bridgeport, United States

Thanks, I hate it!

Today, a friend temporarily staying at my house with his cats scared one of them into my basement, where the cat then climbed up within the walls to somewhere on the second floor. He then left as he was on a deadline to get to TN by a specific time. He told me I could keep his cat, who is stuck somewhere in a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 66

1 comment Share

steakgoesmoooo · 16 May 2023, 00:00

Perfect

Today, I put my perfectly-broiled steak portion in the microwave to keep it from the cats while it rested. I accidentally hit "cook" instead of "timer". My perfect rare steak is now almost perfectly half-leather and half-charcoal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 890

4 comments Share

gill · 8 April 2024, 20:00 ·San Diego, United States

Strange encounter

Today, while I was working at a Rite Aid, the superintendent of the local high school stopped in and was rude to me. I asked if he knew my principal and explained that I graduated from another nearby high school two years ago. Suddenly, the grumpy asshole became the greatest gentleman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 118

1 comment Share

Millie07 · 7 November 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Trashed

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 97

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 7 February 2024, 20:00 ·Citrus Heights, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Gimme the D

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 297

7 comments Share

Denali · 27 June 2026, 15:00 ·Denver, United States

Get out of there

Today, I overheard my mother saying that it is “physically painful” for her not to be mean to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 74

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 18 December 2023, 22:00 ·United States

Brain worm

Today, I brought my nephew to hockey practice knowing he needed help tying his skates. Multiple times I tied the wrong knot and my mind blanked. I had to ask someone else to tie his skates for him. I’m 32. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 262

1 comment Share

jfc · 18 August 2025, 00:00 ·Amsterdam, Netherlands

Superhero stuff

Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 240

8 comments Share

I hate myself · 21 June 2025, 15:00 ·San Francisco, United States

Where am I?

Today, I thought I was going to a friend’s birthday party. Turns out, it was a surprise party for someone else... and I was the surprise. Everyone shouted “Surprise!” and I realized I wasn’t invited. I awkwardly ate a cupcake and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 102

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 7 July 2024, 16:00 ·Corozal, Colombia

Classic

Today, I was at a volleyball game talking with my friends when a girl who is in my team arrived. She was greeting someone else but I thought that she was saying hi to me. However, I'd already waved back at her. All my friends and others noticed the situation and as a result they laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 155

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 10 December 2021, 23:01 ·United States

Grey's Anatomy has the same effect

Today, I discovered that my recent binge-watching of “Young Sheldon” has caused me to hear Jim Parsons’s voice narrating everything I read. Including this FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 753

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 11 May 2026, 12:00 ·United States

It's still around

Today, we had to cancel a Disney vacation we had spent thousands of non-refundable dollars planning for over a year because our oldest son tested positive for COVID and we couldn't find anyone to leave him with on such short notice. My other kids are heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 137

2 comments Share

Kylie · 22 July 2025, 15:00 ·United States

They don't make em as they used to

Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 149

0 comment Share

Chess'nt · 3 September 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Gambit

Today, after a couple days of taking lessons after I decided to learn to play Chess as a hobby, I felt a bit better about my skill level than I was before. Then I got absolutely humbled by five different people. One of them actually said to me, "What Glass Joe is to Punch-Out, you are to chess." It's hard to not be discouraged after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 135

4 comments Share

Brother_Out_2024 · 8 May 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Quality family time

Today, I’m on a highly undesired family vacation with my sisters and their spouses. One sister can’t stop attacking her husband‘s short comings, and the other is having an anxiety attack her wife is woefully unprepared to deal with. Better you than me, Cuñados. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 103

1 comment Share

FML Approved · 27 October 2017, 20:30

Instagram Fail

Such a poser.

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 348

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 21 July 2024, 20:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

Physical imbalances in the root chakra

Today, I was practicing yoga at home when I heard a loud crash. My cat had managed to knock over a bookshelf while attempting to catch a fly. In my rush to save my books and knick-knacks, I tripped over my yoga mat and fell into the mess. My cat got the fly though, so that's something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 123

2 comments Share

Why · 16 November 2025, 22:00

Unilateral decision

Today, my husband enrolled our daughter for a dance event, even though I was against it. I told him before he enrolled that I couldn't take her to practice or the event in this cold, as I can't drive while he's driving our car. He went for a trip with his friends, so guess who's standing in the cold outside dance practice… FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 103

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 6 March 2026, 15:00

Looksmaxxing

Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 79

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 28 April 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Uranus

Today, my body couldn't seem to decide whether I had constipation or diarrhea, so it decided to split the difference by making me push my turd out painfully for ten minutes, then let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 75

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 26 October 2026, 20:00 ·United States

No problem, my pleasure!

Today, I introduced my mom to my friend who performed the Heimlich maneuver on me when I was choking. She proceeded to loudly berate and chew him out, saying that he should have gotten an adult and could have hurt me. Now he won't talk to me and I'm grounded for calling her a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 69

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 7 February 2026, 03:00 🌶️ Spicy

Let's get it on

Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 105

2 comments Share

Michelle · 19 December 2020, 08:01

Since when has that been there?

Today, I thought something was wrong with my car battery because my dashboard lights were really low. I paid $77 to find out the dimmer switch was turned down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 882

7 comments Share

Frankie · 24 February 2024, 12:00 ·Australia

Stop trying to make fetch happen

Today, I thought it would be cute to teach my dog a new trick in which I throw and then he brings me back a rolled up newspaper. He disappeared after it, then successfully returned with what turned out to be my neighbor's dirty boxer shorts. Apparently, my dog has a different definition of "fetch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 158

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 28 November 2023, 00:00

Pure evil

Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 1 147

12 comments Share

No way, dog · 1 October 2025, 00:00

Doggy dog world

Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 91

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 28 November 2022, 04:00 ·Australia

Dungeons and Dragons time

Today, I was at work with my boyfriend. I was being playful and recounting something that had happened in my D&D session the night before. I imitated the roar from the dragon that the DM had done, and midway though, the postman walked in with a delivery. He walked back out without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 652

2 comments Share

Demoted · 25 February 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Demotion

Today, I realized my (soon to be ex) boyfriend has been preemptively sending me his Snaps as regular chat photos/videos on Snapchat so our interaction could go down. This way, he can have the girl he’s been cheating on me with become his #1 best friend, thus demoting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 110

2 comments Share