The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 21 April 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Stressed out

Today, I realized that being chronically stressed since I was 12 has made me look older than I am. I used to be the youngest looking kid in my high school. That lead to me being ignored and mistaken for an innocent kid, causing me stress. As a 25 year-old adult, I work my ass off just to survive, causing me stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 168

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Anonymous · 12 February 2022, 18:00 ·Carmichael, United States

Down the hole we go

Today, I found out I might have been exposed to HPV. So what do I do? End up in the internet self-diagnosis rabbit hole. Now I'm convinced I have something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 792

5 comments Share

Clean toilet empty bed · 2 October 2026, 00:00 ·New York, United States

The ick

Today, I found out that the reason I gave a girl "the ick" was something she saw in my bathroom. Was it a filthy sink, a massive skid mark, or some kind of bizarre sex toy? No, I use those blue toilet cleaner tablets and apparently that means I'm a "prissy princess". FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 50

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Not again!!! · 7 April 2025, 20:00 ·Spokane, United States

Emergency!

Today, I had a major digestive emergency while at work. I rushed to the bathroom, just to realize there were no toilet paper rolls left. In a moment of desperation, I used the last few pages of my notebook to make do. Now I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if my boss ever asks for the reports I wrote in that notebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 107

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engagedtoafreak · 23 March 2025, 00:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

To each their own

Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 195

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swollenego · 2 August 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Overprotective

Today, as I was walking out of a park, I bent to examine a mosquito bite I had. As I looked up, I noticed a nearby couple staring and whispering in abject horror before calling their kids over to get bug-sprayed, pointing me out. Terrified, they immediately complied. It’s not even my worst bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 87

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Anonymous · 26 December 2024, 15:00 ·Germany

Joy to the world

Today, for Christmas, I got the 3-month anniversary of a constant cold and cough, my period, plus the diagnosis that I have been secretly left-handed for 40 years, and need to switch sides now if I want to unfuck my physical and mental health. What I still don't have are decent boots - I've been hunting them for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 160

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frustrated and chequed out · 12 February 2024, 09:00 ·Duncan, Canada

The opposite of hustle culture

Today, I tried to deposit a few cheques in the bank before they expired, and all I needed was the ATM. Little did I know that the bank changed their hours and now closes on the weekend. I’m busy during the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 265

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Yikes · 28 September 2025, 20:00

Carny

Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 132

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Anonymous · 2 September 2026, 12:00 ·Dallas, United States

Gullible's travels

Today, my husband is convinced that he inherited a house in Florida and wants us to move there. I cannot convince him that it's clearly an internet scam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 75

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Anonymous · 26 March 2026, 15:00

Disappointed

Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 182

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Orange cat behavior · 13 June 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Like that scene in Alien!

Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 180

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Shelley05 · 29 July 2025, 12:00 ·Santa Fe, United States

Socialite

Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 150

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Anonymous · 29 June 2021, 18:00

"Why are you booing me? I'm right"

Today, I broke my toe on a decorative statue I bought for our front yard. My husband warned me it took up too much space and was a hazard, and now I get to hear him say, "I told you so." FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 1 045

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Oops · 18 February 2024, 12:00 ·Steele, United States

Practice run

Today, I went to console my cousin because I'd heard that her dog had passed away. As I opened the door, the first thing I saw was her extremely old and feeble (but still very much alive) dog. Turns out my friend was talking about HIS cousin, and I simply misheard. Trying to explain that to her was mighty awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 186

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Snot monster · 29 August 2025, 03:00 ·Poland

Snotty

Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 151

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Anonymous · 19 April 2023, 22:00 ·Bossier City, United States

Kinda sus

Today, I yet again dreamt of the girl I loved in elementary school. She isn’t the woman I wound up marrying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 714

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Paul · 30 November 2024, 14:00 ·United States

No good deed, etc.

Today, I saw a little kid struggling with a balloon, so I tried to help tie it for her. It popped in my hands, and she started crying. Then her mom came running up, yelling, "What did you do to my daughter?" I had to run away while saying sorry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 151

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I can't throw ;-; · 1 April 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Two left feet for hands

Today, my friend invited me to play frisbee golf with him. On my first throw, my frisbee got stuck on a branch near the top of a very tall tree. This is why I don't do sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 110

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Sara · 13 March 2026, 15:00

Take a look at this shit

Today, I went to the doctor for advice on the horrid diarrhea problem I have, because I go every thirty minutes. Luckily, I had two very big stool samples to give my doctor when I got there. Why? Due to slow drivers and hitting ALL the red lights, it took an hour to get to the doctor's. Life sure is good when it's easygoing, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 70

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Klo · 12 November 2023, 16:00

Uncomfortable encounter

Today, I was set to meet my friends at a new, trendy café. I arrived early, eager to impress, but ended up walking into the wrong café and got stuck for an hour engaged in a disturbing conversation about serial killers with a total stranger who'd deludedly mistaken me for a long-lost friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 307

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Christine · 11 August 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Fitness check

Today, I went to my first spin class. Trying my best, I hopped on the bike and started pedaling like I’d been doing it for years. The instructor came over, adjusted the seat, and as soon as she let go, I completely lost my balance and tipped over. The bike fell sideways, taking me and two water bottles with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 135

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Anonymous · 22 October 2024, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

I'll get the kettle on

Today, I got locked out of my house while wearing pyjamas. I didn’t have my phone, so I had to ask my neighbour to call a locksmith. She insisted on chatting at me for an hour about her love life, while I sat there waiting desperately for the locksmith in my dinosaur-print pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 200

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Fuck the rich · 23 June 2026, 12:00 ·Norfolk, United States

Never gonna happen

Today, my dad explained to me that it's actually a "good thing" that we have a trillionaire in America now, because he builds rockets, and those are cool or something. WEALTH. TAX. NOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 292

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Lauren · 5 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Cutie

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 229

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Anonymous · 9 May 2025, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Red flag

Today, and ever since we started trying for a baby, my husband initiates sex a lot less often than he used to, and has even started suffering from erectile dysfunction on occasion. Call me crazy, but I’m starting to suspect he doesn’t want a baby after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 169

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Trish · 2 June 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Statistics

Today, I went on a virtual date with someone I met on a hyper-personalized dating app. It turns out that the app matched me with my ex. Again. Because, apparently, “statistically, you two have so much in common, and also unresolved issues.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 107

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Slippery! · 1 February 2024, 15:00 ·United States

You were framed

Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 172

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Anonymous · 2 July 2021, 02:01 ·Germany

Smoothie with a kick

Today, I made myself a smoothie with fruits and wild greens, which tasted much better than it looked, so I licked the splashes off the blender’s lid. Including a stray leaf that didn’t get blended. Which turned out to be stinging nettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 909

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MrBougie · 25 February 2024, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Lonely girl

Today, I bought a 37-pound sex doll on Amazon, just so I could cuddle it and cry myself to sleep, until she decides if she wants a divorce in three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 352

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