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USA! USA! USA!

By Anonymous - 04/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, yet another American sports team was shown to be monsters (New Orleans Saints). Helping to cover up children predators should be exposed, not swept under the rug. I hate being American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 167

Explain this, Elon!

By early adopter - 06/08/2022 14:00

Today, I've officially spent more fixing my electric car than I spent buying it, less than a year ago. My tenant's 20 year-old junk car, however, runs just fine. It broke down a few months ago and cost less than a grand to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 866

Don't let it come to this

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 02:01

Today, we had the cops called on us because my son was panicking so much about his first COVID jab, his older sister got fed up, took him outside, put him in a headlock and choked him unconscious so the nurse could jab him. Instead, the nurse called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 1 292

Keeping up

By guy - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, lots of guys my age are confident and in the best shape of their life. I've been working out since high-school. However, since I turned 20, my body has become increasingly injury prone on my joints and tendons from wear and tear. I feel like I'm slowly breaking down and I'm only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 99

Full of himself

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during a Tinder date, the guy spent a solid hour talking about the Tinder date he went on yesterday with someone else. Honestly, I only stayed to the end because the restaurant was excellent. The guy was actually confused when I split the bill and didn’t want to have sex with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 74

I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you cry

By jenni - 06/04/2021 20:00

Today, my seven-year-old niece gave me a birthday card. Only she'd spelled my name as ‘Jenny.’ When I told her it was spelled with an i instead of a y, she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 1 160

Little devil

By Girlie - 07/05/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 176

Malding

By Recessive Reece - 13/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I'm the only one in my family who doesn't need glasses and who isn't lactose intolerant. However, I'm the only one in my family rapidly balding at the age of 25. Even my grandparents on both sides have full heads of hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 85

Rude

By Fugly fat slob - 07/10/2025 09:00

Today, a drive-thru customer ordered a deal that includes fries and a drink with the sandwich. When I gave it to her, she screamed at me because she "didn't order fries." When I brought up that the deal includes them, she told me I should have "figured it out," called me a "fugly fat slob," and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 66

Cut your losses

By Sober_smashley - 16/06/2023 10:00

Today, my alcoholic boyfriend, who's in jail for violating his conditional bond, told me I'd better not have even one drop of alcohol while he's gone. Oh, and he expects $250 of commissary each week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 647

Punching

By Sky Deleter - 04/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 212

Truth bombs

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 12:00 - Trinidad and Tobago - Arima

Today, my mother-in-law came home drunk and said to my husband, "I told you not to bring a dumb girl home." I'm a kindergarten teacher with my own private school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 82

By peace_lost - 29/06/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 96

Let me down gently

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Corona

Today, you know how people say, “The worst thing she can say is ‘No’” when asking a girl out? I found out the hard way that that's a bold faced lie. I asked and she said, “Yeah, I’d rather use a freshly cut jalapeño as a tampon!” then burst into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 69

Time flies

By Anonymous - 06/07/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 2 545

Boots on the ground

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 00:00 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I learned that my husband is getting deployed for we don’t know how long, and I’ll be left all alone, in a different country far away from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 205

Baby you can drive my uninsured car

By Anonymous - 07/06/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, a week after I lost my job, my car was written off by someone rear-ending me, and both parties weren't insured. I tried to look for a new job, but all of them require that you have a vehicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 173

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 98

Leaky ballon knot

By Kelly - 21/01/2026 03:00

Today, as usual I am allergic to onions (I fart A LOT if I eat any). It seems there were some in my breakfast sausage meal as I spent the day having major diarrhea; I'm shitting once an hour. That would be okay if I'd stayed home, but my sister asked me to pick her up at school. Guess who shit herself while driving… FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 112

Classic blunder

By churchman - 28/06/2021 06:01 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 819

There's no I in team, apparently

By Jessica - 13/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, a positively glowing online review was left by a client about me recently - listing my first and last name mind you - and my boss wrote back, thanking them for the kind words, then carried on about how awesome my coworker is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 54

Get a taxi

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 20:00

Today, my wife walked into the bedroom in a vest top, a mini skirt, tights, and fuck-me heels. I thought I was gonna get some for the first time in months, until she came out with the dreaded statement, “I’m off out with the girls, can you stay awake? I might need a ride home later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 129

Trial by social media

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 15:00

Today, I told my late husband's daughter that I have no interest in reconciliation because she was horrible to me the entire time we were married, and never once warmed up to me, no matter what I tried. Now she's telling everybody on social media that I really am an evil wicked witch stepmom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 115

By gymnaste - 16/02/2009 04:36 - France

Today, jumping over the stiles in the Paris subway, I caught my shin on the turnstile. I put my hands out reflexively to avoid busting my face on the ground, but ended up suspended upside down from the metal bars. A kid took a photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 476

Healthcare for all!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, it's one of the many monotonous days I have endured in this damn third world country after I found out that my dad had cancer and we moved here for his treatment. My skin condition has spread all over my body from the stress, so I constantly feel absolutely repulsed by my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 148

Take the L

By Chrissy - 20/12/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 75

Heaven knows I'm miserable now

By lazydude - 17/03/2021 11:01

Today, I got hired and now I have to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 1 649

I think you should leave

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, one of my employees lied to his mother and told her that I’m his girlfriend, so she actually came to invite me to Sunday dinner. Nice woman, but I had to tell her he lied, since I’m married, to my wife. She kicked up a huge stink in the shop and accused me of using her son for "hetero sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 64

Crowbar time

By Anonymous - 09/11/2021 02:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I'm moving to almost 1,000 miles to a new state. I packed everything up in the U-Haul and it is en route to the new place. I just realized that it shows up tomorrow and I have no idea where the keys are to unlock the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 811

Southern states be like

By F*ckinghot - 20/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, as I have my entire life, I live in the south. However, our AC decided to break and now it's 91 degrees inside the house, even with fans on and the windows open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 123

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The Top

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 094

You deserved it 6 664

Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 229

You deserved it 2 502

Today, my cat got diarrhea. My house is under renovation at the moment. I can smell it, but I don't know where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 212

Today, as usual during sex, my boyfriend finished first, and then he "massaged" me so I could finish too. While he was doing that, his grandma called. He actually answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 188

Today, I was in a hurry to pull out all the fence posts around our horse meadow, because the new owner is suddenly kicking us out. As if that wasn’t bad enough, some ground wasps were living at the base of one of those fence posts. No, they were not amused when I started wiggling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 130

Today, I walked to the grocery store despite being out of shape since it was typically only a 30 minute walk and gas prices are bad. The hourly temperature on my weather app was wrong as usual so by the time I got to the store, I was sweating buckets. By the time I got back home, I was so overheated I nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 146