Today, my wife slept in my bed (she normally sleeps in another room because of my nightmares from PTSD). I fell asleep in 30 minutes and had a nightmare, in which I woke up to me kneeing her tailbone from an in-dream assault I fought back from. I hadn’t had these in a while, and now she’s injured. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML
Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML
Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TomeDr 25
PLEASE tell me that you’re in therapy to deal with this!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
TomeDr 25
PLEASE tell me that you’re in therapy to deal with this!