When you run out of kibble... By FML Approved - 19/10/2017 20:30 Say it isn't so! agreeclassic 429 vote type 1 101 Share Tweet Share
Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML agreeclassic 52 166 vote type 1 3 735
Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML agreeclassic 19 595 vote type 1 2 081
Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML agreeclassic 23 480 vote type 1 52 340
Today, my boyfriend's tooth got caught on my nipple ring and ripped it out. FML agreeclassic 2 021 vote type 1 588
Today, I could easily be any man's dream wife. I'm pretty, smart, devoted, earn well, cook great, keep a clean house, and raise amazing children… but I chose to marry an asshole who keeps hitting me for little to no reason. I'm too scared to raise my kids on my own in this world, or else I would leave. FML agreeclassic 593 vote type 1 229
Today, after I had an excellent one night stand with a guy yesterday, I saw him at work. He was a client my boss was trying to talk into a deal. The guy recognised me and accused my boss of sending me to seduce him into signing the contract. The deal fell apart and my boss is livid with me. FML agreeclassic 4 385 vote type 1 660
Did not expect that.