The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Hi, how are you?

By black_pheonix77 - 03/07/2020 02:02

Today, even though I’m not allowed to be on my phone while on the line at work, I texted an unknown number. My manager looked at her Apple Watch. I'd texted my manager while on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 2 361

Why indeed

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 09:00 - United States - Davison

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s phone. He'd told his brothers, mom, and mutual friends that I was at a psych ward, after I went crazy. We have been back together for four months now after that situation, so no wonder I got the vibe they hate me. Why lie about something so stupid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 243

Dinner time

By JJ84 - 31/07/2024 12:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 112

WAP

By Frustrated - 30/10/2025 20:00

Today, my husband bought me a remote-controlled vibrator, put it in my underwear, and spent the entirety of our date night making it vibrate. I was soaking wet and ready to get fucked. Too bad he drank two bottles of wine during the date and fell asleep the second we got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 103

Alexa, play "Just Like Christmas" by Low

By Anonymous - 17/12/2024 16:00 - North Macedonia

Today, I put Christmas wrapping on old books and things I already own, because I realized that it's the only way I'll have anything under the tree this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 112

Puppy love

By Anonymous - 23/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I gave my crush my number in a note that said "Read in private." Not only did she read it in front of her friends, she also laughed at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 234

It's a trap!

By iMFUGHG - 10/11/2025 00:00

Today. upon learning that I'd friend-zoned a good friend of hers, my girlfriend dumped me. I worked so hard to win her over. She told me, "Just a tip: next time, go after people who like you. Don't friend-zone them, you just may be missing out on a good person." I told her I wanted HER. She told me, "But I don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 131

The "He's probably thinking of other girls" meme gone wrong

By Anonymous - 25/10/2021 23:00

Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 436

Nasty

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 22:00

Today, I begged the people at my new job not to call my current boss for a reference because he is a vindictive dog shite. They called him for a reference, he tanked me, they believed him and withdrew my job offer. My boss also sacked me for disloyalty, thus proving he’s a vindictive dog shite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 102

Hang tight

By I’m absolutely terrified!!!!! - 18/03/2026 03:00

Today, I was told I may have ALS. This all started only 3 weeks ago when I saw a speech pathologist for what was supposed to be a super simple, easy to fix issue. I’m now having panic attacks multiple times a day while waiting to see a neurologist to see if I’ll turn into a dumb Stephen Hawking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 91

Customer service

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a man having a breakdown was trashing the shop, and I was talking to him, calming him down, when an old guy popped up out of nowhere and hit him in the back of the head, out cold in seconds. He then looked at me and told me, "That’s how you deal with crazy people. You need to grow a pair, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 243

Pizza > Love

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 115

Never engage with crazy

By Anonymous - 18/05/2025 09:00 - China

Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 361

Adding insult to insult

By Ugh - 25/06/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, a month after our breakup, my ex sent me a glorious butt pic. This was followed up with, "Wrong person, please delete that." I asked her for two years to send me sexy pictures, and she always refused, saying it was "too slutty" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 122

Geyser Söze

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 2 102

Let down

By Boring - 13/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I asked my friends what they thought was my biggest problem. All of them responded, "You're boring." I don't deny it, and I certainly did ask, but… Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 250

And you did it at my birthday dinner

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 12:00

Today, as a makeup influencer, I came home to find my entire makeup collection destroyed. She dumped, stomped, and covered it all in used kitty litter for good measure. My obsessively jealous girlfriend swore I was dressing up for another woman. My collection was worth over $1800. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 236

The chills

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 14:00 - Germany

Today, despite living healthy and being only 40, I have such pathologically cold feet that I can only ever be comfortable while either having them on a hot water bottle or taking a vigorous walk. Everything else feels about as cosy as standing in ice water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 86

By Slash - 16/06/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 107

Secrets and lies

By Nicky - 27/03/2026 15:00

Today, my husband had a 'come to Jesus' moment where he confessed he has been lying to me our entire marriage about everything, from relationships with women I have suspected to what he ate for lunch. He does not know why he lies about the little things, he said he wants to "know something that you don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 64

Watergate II: Pig in the City

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned my hotel room had the shittiest blinds ever and that if you want true privacy you need to shut the curtains. I discovered this after three wives from the opposite windows complained I’d been flashing their husbands when I got out of the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 132

Brave move

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 14:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending a GIF. Not a sad one either. It was a GIF of some dude disappearing into thin air. Ten out of ten for originality, but come on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 85

Sorority

By New mom - 01/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I am five days postpartum and my sister came over to see me. After she refused to help me with dishes or do the laundry or grab dinner, I angrily asked why she even came. She replied, "Uh… to meet the baby? You're not entitled to my help, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 758

Sex ed failure

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 20:00

Today, in the heat of losing our virginity, I asked him to “suck my clit, suck my clit, oh god please suck my clit.” He stopped what he was doing and asked me, “What’s a clit?” I almost strangled him. Don’t date boys homeschooled by single mamas, they’ll break your heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 307

Stealth bomb

By gassy - 03/03/2021 11:01 - Australia - Morwell

Today, my boyfriend and I were setting up a desktop PC we'd bought second-hand. In the middle of this, he stopped, frowning, sniffed the air a few times and said we'd better give it a good dust, because it smelt like burning. I'd just farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 929

Free healthcare when?

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 14:00 - United States - Warren

Today, after my dad hurt his shoulder, it turns out nothing is broken but we don't know anything else. He might have a rotator cuff tear, which will require surgery, and he's already been out of work for a week after he got rehired from being laid off. He's starting to lean on me financially and I get SSI only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 117

Just awesome

By Anonymous - 26/02/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Ferrieres

Today, it was my first time with my new boyfriend. I told him what an awesome body he has. He seemed a little embarrassed and stuttered, "Uh, well, uh, you have nice eyes." Goodbye self esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 148

Must stay productive

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 12:00

Today, I experienced my third day in a row with visual aura causing a migraine. I informed my safety and human resources departments, who both offered help. When I went to tell my supervisor, she told me that women experience this all the time and I need to learn to deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 84

Little shit

By Anonymous - 12/12/2021 16:58

Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 763

Trash takes itself out

By Used - 02/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to wish one of my friends a happy birthday on his Facebook wall, only to see that I was blocked. Turns out, he blocked me because he'd developed a crush on me for some time and couldn’t stand seeing the posts between me and my new boyfriend. So basically I can only be his friend if I’m single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 189

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration NSFW Sex Growing old Intimacy Fire Love Awkward Customers Annoying Work Kids Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Ecology Health Painful Friends Insects Pranks Garden Cats Neighbours Animals Technology Weird Geek

The Top

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 552

You deserved it 5 359

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 568

You deserved it 16 341

Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 159

You deserved it 4 705

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 412

You deserved it 4 713

Today, for the first time since kindergarten, I won! I came first! Yes, I'm first on the waiting list for the M.A. degree I applied to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 090

You deserved it 3 758

Today, I trusted my mother-in-law to watch my 3 year-old son while my husband and I were at work. She fell asleep while watching him and he somehow opened the door, ran outside, fell and scraped his knee. Her response was, "Oh well, what doesn’t kill him makes him stronger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 274