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No fun

By Anonymous - 28/11/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and for the past week, I’ve had a viral bug. Now I can handle the vomiting, the diarrhoea, headaches, muscle weakness, dizziness, fatigue, and coughing. What I cannot handle is how food and drink now taste bad. Like seriously, even water tastes bad. I’m slowly going insane from lack of flavour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 86

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 09:00

Today, I surprised my 10-year-old nephew with an invitation to my family's upcoming Disney Cruise for his birthday, since he previously said he wanted to go. He said no. He'd "changed his mind." The ticket is nonrefundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 97

By zero_minded12 - 21/05/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 121

Sibling rivalry

By Mayo baby - 19/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 147

Hot wheels

By Anne - 26/01/2026 03:00

Today, I went to a café that claimed to be fully accessible, as I use a mobility aid. The ramp was technically there but so steep, I needed help. Three strangers helped push me up while I apologized, laughed nervously, and tipped coffee onto myself at the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 84

AAaaaaaah!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2023 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 754

Poker face at all times

By loss.jpg - 21/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 323

Medical malpractice

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 09:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and nausea. I sat in the waiting room for six hours, just to be told, “We don’t know what’s wrong with you. Try taking Gravol and Tylenol and maybe lay off the fatty foods.” I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 112

Etiquette

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 16:00 - Brazil - Joinville

Today, I had to be the responsible adult and take my parents' phones away. Most of their time is spent on social media and low-quality brainrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 132

Fully relaxed

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 20:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 140

On the lam

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 00:00

Today, all three of my kids snuck out of a family reunion because they were bored. I was furious, until I found out my husband had also gone with them. After I was done yelling at all of them, I realised I was mostly jealous they didn’t take me with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 1 113

Brave

By Only sad - 25/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I finally gathered the courage to confess my feelings to my best friend. As I was about to tell him, he interrupted me and said, “Oh hey, by the way, I met a guy and we’re going on our first date tonight.” I awkwardly said, “Congrats,” and then I went home to eat an entire pint of ice cream by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 164

Dysfunctionally functional

By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, a coworker confided in me that he’s taking a leave of absence to get treatment for alcoholism. I feel for him, but I’m also incredibly jealous. He’s better at our job while drunk than I am while sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 207

Seething

By Roy - 26/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Leavenworth

Today, a guy I genuinely hate more than anyone else in my life complimented my new haircut. I had to thank him or I'd be yelled at by my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 232

Night predator

By Gwen - 28/06/2025 15:00 - Russia - Rostov-on-Don

Today, I'm a 40+, aging, ugly woman with bad skin, and gaining weight. In the middle of the night, the cat landed on my face, clawing it so badly that it left actual scars. Just purrrfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 148

Anthropomorphism

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Southend

Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 169

FML's Showdown #15

By Louis - 28/06/2017 21:00

Choose your fave, watch them go!

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 165

Scaredy cat

By Luke - 15/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 229

Not my bucket list

By what the fuck babe - 14/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me his bucket list. Normal bucket lists are beautiful, full of sweet things like, "See Paris with my wife" or, "Learn to play the piano". His was all childish destructive bullshit like, "Throw dynamite out of a car window" or, "Get my ass eaten out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 374

No future

By Anonymous - 27/07/2023 00:02

Today, I had no idea my girlfriend had such a poor sense of humour until I pranked her by hiding a plastic spider in the kitchen, and she broke up with me and asked me to move out. She’s not even arachnophobic, so I don’t get her extreme reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 1 049

Mixed emotions

By Glen - 26/02/2025 00:00 - India - Ooty

Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 166

By gnafron - 31/12/2013 11:30 - France - Grenoble

Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 147

Tasteful

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Greenwich

Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 294

Attachment issues

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 12:00

Today, I'm stuck in a nightmare where one of my young twins is fixated on spending as much time with her sibling as possible, while the other one is a complete introvert who wants her sister to leave her alone as much as possible. Either way, someone is upset and crying, mostly me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 94

The indignity

By Anonymous - 12/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I stepped on the scale this morning and it actually shattered beneath my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 187

We believe in you

By No life (apparently) - 06/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after months of playing chess as a hobby, I'm actually starting to get kind of good. Excited at my results, I decided to share this with a friend. Her response: "Don't quit your day job. You're not becoming a professional." First of all, I'm not trying to be THAT good, nor do I expect to. Secondly, ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 117

Nature, nurture…?

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it seems that despite being twins, my brother and I are very different people. Last week I got written up at work for taking too long a lunch break. This afternoon he got written up for having sex at work, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 130

The writing is on the wall

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 15:00 - United States - West Chester

Today, I overheard the guy who hired me talking to one of my managers in hushed tones about me. I'm pretty sure he's going to send me an email soon, saying that my job "probably isn't the right fit" for me, which is part of what I overheard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 77

My family blows

By Anonymous - 08/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I'm incredibly sick. I can't breathe, can't walk ten steps without falling, and no one believes me. My mom just sat next to me and said, "Honey, isn't this all a bit much? Quit being dramatic, because I can't believe this." When I asked why I would fake this, my sister yelled, "Guess you can't go shopping!" I'd want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 105

Long term goals

By Anonymous - 08/03/2026 12:00

Today, my whole family called me ungrateful and my parents are threatening to ground me because I turned down an invitation to go with my extended family to Hawaii for spring break. I literally just started a new part-time job, but they won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 105

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The Top

Today, my family, grandma included, took some time to discuss whether or not olive oil is a suitable substitute for lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 650

You deserved it 1 992

Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 419

You deserved it 2 580

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 861

You deserved it 2 701

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 381

You deserved it 76 236

Today, my aunt who has never had children lectured me on how childbirth isn't painful. I am pregnant with my second. I think I've got the gist of how it feels, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 618

You deserved it 178

Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 139