Today, like most days recently, and even after 10 hours of sleep, I need at least 3 cups of coffee per day in order be able to… sit on the sofa and, well, not fall asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss made me come in at 10 a.m. instead of noon like he usually does. I’ve had nine cups of coffee and STILL can’t keep my eyes open. Why am I like this? FML
Today, I learned that all the caffeine my body can handle and boundless energy will not stop me from yawning. Thirty times in an hour. FML
Today, I have officially lost count of how many nights in a row I couldn’t fall asleep until the small hours, even though I go to bed early and get up early every single day. I’m the kind of person who needs at least nine hours of sleep to be anything other than useless and depressed. FML
Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML
Today, I got up early for a doctor's appointment and chugged two cups of coffee. Ten minutes before I was supposed to leave, my doctor calls asking to reschedule, which would have been fine had I not cleared my whole day for this appointment. Now I'm too wired to go back to bed. FML
Today, after being sick and not having coffee for a month, my body has invented a new way of processing caffeine: The tiredness and lethargy remains untouched, while the caffeine-jolt is converted directly into a fuzzy headache. FML
Today, I had to admit that my coffee addiction is really bad when I woke up in a Starbucks with no memory of how I got there. FML
Today, I realized that if I consume caffeine in any way, shape, or form, it exacerbates my insomnia to the point that sleeping for more than two hours in the night is impossible. I'm not even sure if that's the actual cause. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore, and my anxiety-ridden brain is milking it. FML
Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML
Today, there are two parts to my life: The 12 hours I spend in bed each night trying to fall asleep, with limited success, and the 12 hours I'm up and trying *not* to fall asleep, also with limited success. FML
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Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
It can also be a medical problem. I started needing to sit on the couch through the days because I was utterly exhausted; turned out to be Addison’s disease.
Anderling 33
Talk to a doctor. If you already did, find one that didn't find their medical degree in their cereal box this morning. This isn't normal.
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Comments (8)
Kaveh le forgeron 4
Sitting on the sofa all day is exactly what's making you tired, buddy. How is this news to people? Action brings energy, sitting makes you lethargic.
TwoBytesCarley 27
It can also be a medical problem. I started needing to sit on the couch through the days because I was utterly exhausted; turned out to be Addison’s disease.
Anderling 33
Talk to a doctor. If you already did, find one that didn't find their medical degree in their cereal box this morning. This isn't normal.
headlock95 3
Sitting on a sofa, doing nothing, is exactly why he’s falling asleep
Anderling 33
Is it really so difficult to grasp tbat sometimes sitting on the couch unable to do anything because you don't have the energy can be a symptom and not a cause? Ten hours of sleep and still needing coffee to not sleep even more is why an acquaintance of mine got assessed for narcolepsy.
RichardPencil 32
If you're just sitting on a sofa, why is it important to not fall asleep? Just catch as many Z's as you need.
mechgineer 3
could you have sleep apnea? my brother has the same symptoms and he has it
Brightside86 31
Sounds like you have sleep apnea. Get a sleep study, it's a super common condition.
Iamthebanzai22 21
I have had this exact same problem. I solved it by doing a cleansing and only drinking water and eating healthy. It turned out the problem was coffee.
Nazmazh 18
This seems firmly in "Actually talk to a doctor about this" territory if it's that severe and disruptive.
L0life29 6
get a ******* job