The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

For the life of him indeed

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 08:08

Today, my significant other decided it’s safe to travel to Brazil for Christmas break, even though they are heavily impacted by Covid. He doesn't understand for the life of him why we should skip this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 186

Clean

By Anonymous - 21/04/2022 22:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, in the entire half-hour since my mother-in-law reached our home, she's inspected and criticised every aspect of our home, despite things being spot clean. And sermoned me non stop on how to "live". My husband still wonders why I don't want her visiting. It"s going to be a long two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 116

Spooky

By Jason McNeely_1073215947 - 28/12/2021 01:59

Today, my now ex-girlfriend broke up with me by simply "ghosting" me. We're both in our late thirties. I thought she was more grown up than this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 125

Contagion

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 05:02

Today, after bronchitis and a negative COVID test, I finally went back into my classroom for the last day before break. An hour after I got home, a parent contacted me to let me know her child (whom I helped all day) had tested positive and that I needed to quarantine. She thought I would, "want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 113

God laughs

By Flipper_87 - 29/06/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend, who I’ve been madly in love with for 18 months, left me for some guy she met two weeks ago. I was planning to propose to her next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 148

Left behind

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 02:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, it was my best friend's birthday party. Her boyfriend and I agreed to organize a dinner date to surprise her and celebrate. They celebrated, but forgot me until they arrived at the restaurant and saw the dinner reservation under my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 171

Cursed FML

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 11:01

Today, my parents think the only reason I'm gay is because I have a curse that makes me attracted to women, and I'm actually straight. At this point, even my older sisters believe it, which is crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 155

Yellow

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 11:01

Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 98

Proportional response

By Sav - 04/02/2023 16:00

Today, after I hooked up with a guy the other night and we had lots of fun, (or so I thought), I woke up to a text saying, “I feel worthless and disgusting after having sex.” He said he was a virgin and he’s a Christian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 267

So compassionate

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 02:01 - Canada

Today, my longterm girlfriend and I broke up after 2 months of me not being myself, due to repressed memories of a childhood trauma. Prior to this coming up, I was about about ask her to marry me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 183

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 20:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 117

Coinkydink? I think not

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 20:00

Today, my husband and I ran into his high school girlfriend at the mall. We were catching up and my husband told her that we have a daughter. She asked what our daughter's name, but my husband hesitated and tried to change the subject, so I told her it was Juniper. That was her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 143

Coda

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 10:30

Today, I was at a very important music competition. When we'd rehearsed the song in question, the conductor said we were to repeat the last four bars of the song three times. As I went to play the third time, the whole orchestra stopped playing. I kept playing by accident and we came in third because of my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 354

Go to school!

By emilee - 19/03/2022 14:00

Today, I told my dad I wasn’t feeling well, to which his response was to interrupt me and say, “Nope. Not buying it.” I have never faked an illness in my life, and this time I vomited in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 110

Noise pollution

By SHUT UP - 28/09/2022 04:00

Today, I turned on the air conditioner in my room, even though it's absolutely freezing in there. Why? To drown about my mom and brother talking. My mom swears that they aren't arguing, but they're so damn loud that it doesn't even matter. They know I'm autistic and that I have hyperacusis. However, they don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 262

Droopy

By creepingjennie - 05/06/2020 02:00

Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 558

Get it on

By Anon - 13/07/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 177

Compassion? At school?

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 00:30 - United States

Today, my house caught fire right before I was supposed to present a school project. My teacher told me to, "just suck it up and do it anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 88

Let's goooooo

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 12:00

Today, my 9-year-old son decided honesty is the best policy and to never lie again. And by that, I mean he's decided to go ahead and blurt out every mean comment he can think of. In one school day, he made 6 kids cry, was punched by 4 other kids, was reprimanded by 3 teachers, and was uninvited to a birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 225

By shook - 06/09/2017 20:00 - United States - Clermont

Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 12 025

Slow

By WhataStrangeTripThisIs - 23/12/2020 22:58

Today, my fiancé told me he loved me just the way I am, but admitted he wished he had met me before my head injury that made me "slow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 110

Never try this at home

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 145

Fantasy

By But I wanna - 15/05/2023 15:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, despite being married and renting my own apartment, I can't fulfil my teenage dream of slamming my wife on the sofa and pounding her like cheap mince, all because it would apparently "defile the sofa for the children." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 437

Going too fast

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 12:00

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to get married and have kids soon. She had a fit. Apparently it's creepy and freakish for a man to want a family, and it means I'm secretly a crazy religious fundamentalist. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 164

Classic

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 01:59

Today, my boyfriend introduced me as a friend to one of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 141

Bit on the side

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 02:00 - United States - Portland

Today my boyfriend left his camera with me. I wanted to see the recent photos we took at the park next to my house. I scrolled through and found pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend the weekend before at the same park, posing under the same tree we had taken a photo. We've been together for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 136

Something is about to bust

By Stigmamma - 30/05/2021 20:01

Today, I had an ultrasound which required me to have a full bladder. I arrived on time, bladder full, only to be stuck in waiting room limbo for 40 mins. I nearly exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 106

Sobering

By Imnotfromhere - 13/06/2021 16:01

Today, I went to a bar to celebrate my 26th birthday. I got ripped off by the bartender all night because she secretly gave me non-alcoholic versions of my drinks. Apparently I look like I'm 16, so she thought my ID was fake. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 206

The Reid technique

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 00:00

Today, I asked my girlfriend if maybe she wanted to actually leave the house for date night. All I got was, “Why? We have takeaway menus.” When I insisted we leave the house for once, she got suspicious, like I was trying to hide something bad. She’s not talking to me until I admit what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 148

Stalked

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, I'm currently being stalked/harassed by my narcissistic ex's new baby mama. She's trying to get me fired from my new job for taking her man, when in reality I want nothing to do with him. The fact that she has taken my baby's name and named their daughter it, is freaking me out. She has people find me everywhere I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 157

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Technology Geek Weird Animals Cute Miscellaneous Birthday Awkward Cake Scary Birds Drunk Embarrassing Roommate Clumsy Mysterious Clothes Work Cats Smartphone Transportation Poopoo peepee Neighbours Noise

The Top

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 305

You deserved it 10 731

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 030

You deserved it 2 404

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 859

You deserved it 3 765

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 630

You deserved it 25 836

Today, I told my mom about the couple of times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 762

You deserved it 6 298

Today, a gorgeous girl was making eyes at me in a cafe, and she actually came and said hi to me. Before I could say hi back, my brother said to her, “Stop making eyes at my boyfriend you slut.” She left upset and I wanted to murder him. He thought it was the best prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 123