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Blunder

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 553

You deserved it 58 281

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 192

Ouch

By Anonymous - 24/05/2014 06:08 - United States

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 847

You deserved it 37 076

Good one, thanks

By RYZILLAHitZ - 30/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 092

You deserved it 5 766

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 14:41 - Germany

Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 919

You deserved it 5 167

Young body, old soul

By lily - 12/04/2021 23:00

Today, I was diagnosed with gout. I’m 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 159

HELP!

By David - 18/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom at a concert when I realized I was locked in. The door was jammed, and there was no way out. I knocked, I tried to force it, I even climbed through the air vent to escape, only to end up covered in dust and toilet paper. Meanwhile, people outside could hear me yelling “HELP!” for a solid 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 95

By it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - 12/04/2013 17:21 - United States - Roselle

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 020

You deserved it 5 881

Bon appétit

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery, and when it arrived, the box was completely empty except for a receipt and a piece of lettuce. I called the restaurant, and they insisted I must’ve eaten it all, and was just pretending. I took a picture of the empty box and the soggy piece of lettuce to prove them wrong. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 89

By Palf - 30/08/2010 11:40 - Germany

Today, I realised that my flight back from Berlin was actually booked for the 29th of September instead of August. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 519

You deserved it 27 163

By iworkatofficedepothomes - 15/05/2014 12:02 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child-sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 009

You deserved it 4 667

By horselover7766 - 25/04/2012 23:08 - United States - Sewell

Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 506

You deserved it 2 709

Outsmarted

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 11:30

Today, my son is smarter than average, almost genius level, and he has now reached an age where not only does he question me at every turn, he actually out-argues me 90% of the time and I can’t do anything about it because technically he’s right and I’m wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 384

By Noname - 15/10/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 576

You deserved it 3 498

Sensitive

By fragile - 06/07/2022 14:00

Today, the reality of how shattered my mental health is truly hit me when I spent ten minutes crying after a bot beat me at a card game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 264

By Makeitdance - 11/05/2014 14:46 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 482

You deserved it 5 055

Red flags everywhere

By Anonymous - 09/10/2023 15:00

Today, my wife started finding everything I do annoying, just after she passed her American citizenship test. I hope there’s no correlation between that and the eight years of support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 210

By WTTFFFF - 09/05/2014 17:24 - United States - Tecumseh

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 861

You deserved it 4 759

What the puck?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2013 14:29 - United States - Portsmouth

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 877

You deserved it 4 937

Jumping the gun

By goodsister - 14/10/2009 08:09 - Canada

Today, I was yelled at and humiliated by my otherwise awesome brother-in-law for my supposed lack of effort in the planning of a baby shower for my very pregnant sister. The kicker? Her huge, break-my-bank semi-surprise baby shower has been in the works for a month, and is happening this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 654

You deserved it 2 847

By Nutless - 02/04/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 585

You deserved it 12 433

Thank you for being a friend

By Love Stanks - 11/10/2023 12:30

Today, the guy I like, who told me he “is trying to heal from his divorce,” just got a girlfriend. He calls her “the one that made me believe in love again.” I spent almost a year being a friend, supporting his every need, and hopelessly holding it down for him. Good to know I’m not good enough and never will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 686

Creeped out

By shawty - 22/08/2010 12:14 - Australia

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 240

You deserved it 6 484

Self report

By i got the ring - 13/10/2023 20:00

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 2 218

Mediocracy

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 18:00

Today, I'm stuck in a dead-end job with no future but can't quit as I have bills to pay. My manager is the most incompetent person I've ever worked for, and he has hired a bunch of his friends who are incompetent as fuck. The CEO doesn't seem to care as he just focuses on business and money. no one cares, and mediocracy is rewarded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 139

Bondage

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 17:30 - United States

Today, my boss had a "team-building" event, which involved a game of trust falls. As I fell backwards, my coworkers failed to catch me, and I crumbled onto the floor. I'm now spending the afternoon in the ER with a sprained ankle, and my boss called to check if I still trust the team. Great bonding experience, guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 112

It's not a phase, mom!

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 02:00

Today, my son wears all dark clothes, has gotten evil looking tattoos, and worships the devil. It was kinda cute when he was 13, slightly concerning when he turned 18, but now he’s 30 and I’m unsure if I should be more accepting of his lifestyle or just plain old shit scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 1 262

Not again

By Anonymous - 17/10/2023 20:00

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my parents, thinking they’d be excited. Instead, they gave me 30 days to find a new place, saying they refuse to raise “any more of your children.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 2 833

The bookmaker always wins

By Jeremy - 19/10/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I set aside some time to take a power nap at my desk. I set an alarm, but it didn't go off. I woke up hours later to find my coworkers had surrounded my desk, taking bets on when I'd wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 768

Millennial Life

By goodbyeadulthood - 09/09/2019 06:00

Today, my parents told me that from now on I have to share a room with my 9-year-old sister. She already called top bunk. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 590

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The Top

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 230

You deserved it 3 016

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 954

You deserved it 99 406

Today, I went shopping with my friend. The store was having a special where if you spend over $75 you receive a free T-shirt. I paid for my items and my total was over $75. The salesman didn't hand me a shirt so I asked him for one. He looks at me and says "I'm sorry, we only have Mediums." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 457

You deserved it 7 419

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because he won’t stop inappropriately talking to other girls on social media. We live together and have 6 months left on our apartment lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 709

You deserved it 273

Today, I swear to Christ, I prefer being at work these days, because when I’m at home if it’s not the kids screaming then it’s my wife moaning about nothing, or the dogs whining and barking, or the neighbour coming round to moan about all the noise. Sometimes wish I was bleeding deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 480

Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 91