Today, I went clubbing. A girl I was dancing with leaned in with a disgusted expression and said, "God, it stinks! Someone keeps farting… I swear they've got IBS." It was me. I have IBS. I was farting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead." FML
Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
I walked through a raunchy fart cloud and we had a good laugh over how much it stank. my daughter drunkenly confided later that it was her wife
RichardPencil 32
F everyone else's L because you neglected to put on your charcoal diaper!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
Crowned Sataness 12
I walked through a raunchy fart cloud and we had a good laugh over how much it stank. my daughter drunkenly confided later that it was her wife
RichardPencil 32
F everyone else's L because you neglected to put on your charcoal diaper!