Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML
Today, the school called my dad telling him they want to put me on a diet, because they're worried about my weight. FML
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, my boyfriend suggested I try on some old clothes, after weeks of eating better and exercising. The good news: they fit again, and are even a little bit loose. The bad news: somehow, I look fatter now than I did before I started trying to lose weight. FML
Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML
Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML
Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML
Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML
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Top comments
RyanMacVey 17
excellent plan... smart man (;
perdix 31
A better and more practical plan would be to buy clothes at least two sizes larger than you are right now, so you can eat your way into them. Bon apetit!
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Comments (128)
RyanMacVey 17
excellent plan... smart man (;
AgeOfAquariusss 7
Yeah, sounds like a great plan, methinks. Save money, get into shape, win/win :D
AaronTkr 0
i don't see how this is an FML. he's just saving money.
HowAreYouToday 34
Maybe op had a growth spurt...
ohSNAPyall 27
"Join the swim team, and you will lose those three inches in height that you grew over the summer."
Alexstraza_fml 5
It only applies if OP got too fat for his clothes instead of just growing. In which case they need to chop off a few inches either from his feet or skull/brain.
pertained 12
^You mean her clothes
ohSNAPyall 27
I don't think chopping off the top of your skull/brain would make your pants any longer. That just jumped out at me more than the pronouns did.
that1chick7 0
UNLESS OP lost so much weight that her old clothes were too big...
KattAlex 4
Is 31 dressed as Ezio?
chuckychan 8
ya stop being such a fat ass. maybe get a job and buy your own clothes. If you can't lose weight and stop complaining.
X_Codes 11
Note that school swim teams are generally populated by people who haven't finished vertical growth yet. I suggest joining the tennis team, and wearing tennis clothes everywhere. Then you will either be very popular, or your father will buy you some new clothes. =P
xosportsgirl14x 8
If the OP has gained THAT much weight that quickly, then tdi...
baden18830 5
think we can assume that her dad wouldn't have said this if she had gotten taller. she ate herself fat and actually has the audacity to be upset that her parents don't want to spring for a new wardrobe. buy her mend clothing way too big as punishment.
carbonbasedcynic 17
you mean width?
mgsoloist 14
Sounds like a personal problem...
niki6 2
Wow. Keep your rude comment to yourself. And btw, nice job of hiding the vomit in your pic. ;) but your fat chin gives a nice distraction to your face. Keep purging, girl. It might help when you're older and (not so sure this is possible) uglier.
kateheartswaffle 0
Niki, your comment astounded me. Literally left me in awe for a second. That's an incredibly unnecessary, mean thing to say. Sure, maybe she said something slightly harsh, but you blew harsh outta the water! Watch what you say. Damn.
niki6 2
Harsh comments deserve exactly what they get. I would have left it alone, if she had not shared a completely unnecessary comment. Don't hash it out, if you can't take it. Life lesson #1.
SirObvious 1
Yes it does....
kitty_f 3
wise man
commietaco 0
doesn't seem like it to me, you can't just join a swim team. in terms of fitness it is the hardest sport to do. according to sports scientists, it works every single muscle in your body between the four stokes. I would know, I swim, and I used to do cross country, track, soccer, and I might even do some tennis.
SoccerRebel594 0
Good for you commie, want a ******* trophy or something? No one cares how athletic you are or how many sports you play, cause it doesn't matter to us and proved nothing. And soccer is actually the most conditioned sport due to the constant running/sprinting, so you can take your "statistics" and shove em' up your butt. OP doesn't have to be physically fit right now to lose weight or play a sport, so stop being a conceited asshole.
afdude87 6
50, you fail too. Stfu.
13garoni 0
O rlly would u know?
BooGhosted 0
Actually, there is no most athletic sport because there are many that outdo other sports in certain areas and are weaker in different ones .
BooGhosted 0
Adding to that, what swimmer would run farther than a runner or vice versa without getting more tired?
chuckychan 8
i am that famous swimmer micheal phelps or what ever. and i can insure you swimming is not that hard. i also eat run bike jump fish fish race and smoke weed i would know.
commietaco 0
congratulations 50, not everyone can be that much of a dick. want a trophy or something?
SoccerRebel594 0
I like how mad you just got commie. I mean, seriously, it sounded like you were just tooting your own horn for shit-and-giggles and to look good.
ckr911 5
Not a bad idea!
hoodasswhitekid 0
yeah, nobody likes fat chicks, not even their dads
bms1996 12
that's not actually such a bad idea,that's what I'm trying to do.
WCARlover 35
Hey, he sounds practical!
thcman 0
Ur ugly n fat btw wcarlover
mooshyface26 0
Not bad not bad !
PhantomReb333 6
You deserve it. Lose some ******* weight.
swimmer3141 10
Unless OP isn't actually fat, and the father is just cheap. If OP is in high school (which is likely) she could still be growing and actually need a different size of clothes than the she did the year before.
jelmermcgee 8
Anything to defend a person for being fat huh?
Cheerlover1233 2
uhhh who said that you wanted new clothes because they didnt fit?? i get new clothes every year...its to start the year fresh!
ckr911 5
Read the fml. It says "clothes that actually fit,"
thatdesertdude 7
shallow...........
daydreamer244 13
can u read....?
fatraptorjesus13 9
can you read??
dani212 0
I disliked this only because you are obviously cheerleader...
ximeldax 0
cheerleaders hate swimmers because we do more flips in an hour than they do in their whole life. (iSwim)
koolkat27 13
97-who the **** cares?
RabbitPressure1 6
I agree with 99. And swimmers are just better in general.
whatsupbitches 4
I'm a swimmer and a cheerleader so... And 99, omg. Flipping in the water is completely different than doing it on land. I'd like to see you try, you wouldn't think it's so easy.
marinus_fml 20
It's a win win situation. You lose some of your fat ass, and your dad saves some money.
daydreamer244 13
harsh
Sdlidner 0
I like harsh
daydreamer244 13
bet u wudnt if u were fat.
InvaderAmi 4
Duuude. Not cool, bro.