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Please stop

By Gjkashldf - 04/05/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 990

You deserved it 57 828

Dreamweaver

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 08:01

Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 137

Embrace your kink

By Anonymous - 31/03/2022 16:00

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 2 597

Sick of this shit

By Amy - 20/07/2023 22:00 - United States - Avondale

Today, after 3 days of being admitted to the hospital, I don't have appendicitis. I have a bacterial infection in my intestinal tract, with gut-wrenching pain and brutal diarrhea for over a week. They can't give me anymore Imodium, I just have to let it run its course. This is the second time I've had this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 121

By speechless - 01/06/2013 00:50 - United Kingdom - Wallasey

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 141

You deserved it 6 097

Libs stop being cringe challenge

By I'mmessedup - 31/03/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I can't go on the internet without seeing my stupid fuck of a president staring down a US serviceman while deep throating a slice of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 1 283

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, after being turned away by nearly all the restaurants in the area, I tried applying at Burger King. They too turned me away. I have a Culinary School Degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 584

You deserved it 3 129

Make it stop

By For you and for me! - 03/08/2026 09:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, someone hacked the bus's Bluetooth speakers and played "Heal the World" by Michael Jackson on repeat. It was a four-hour, point-to-point nonstop bus ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 59

By swmmr - 07/08/2011 19:41 - United States

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 478

You deserved it 14 110

In vain

By bcf1234 - 15/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 710

You deserved it 12 156

By proteinboy - 16/11/2009 03:00 - United States

Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 731

You deserved it 30 500

Alexa, play "Waterfall" by The Stone Roses

By Anonymous - 22/05/2022 12:00

Today, medically speaking, I have been shitting for 15 hours straight. I hope the hypokalemia kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 88

Man flu

By Anonymous - 28/12/2024 20:00 - Romania

Today, I'm horribly sick with a stomach bug. My wife insists on yelling for my help every fifteen minutes, saying, "If you want kids, you better get used to this. They don't just go away when you're sick." When she's sick, however, she expects to be treated like a princess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 150

Breeders

By Anonymous - 21/04/2022 14:00

Today, my mom is threatening to disinherit me because I won’t have a baby. I have three siblings who between them have seven kids for her to obsess over, yet she calls at least once a week and always tries to convince me to get pregnant. Fuck off mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 139

Skip intro

By Anonymous - 25/07/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about what happened to me during the day when he stopped me mid-sentence, asked me to skip the middle and to go right to the end of the story, because he could feel himself slowly dying of boredom. Rude much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 815

By sunflower226 - 05/08/2011 21:41 - United States

Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 4 052

This boy

By GirlinGreen - 30/04/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 475

You deserved it 18 517

Time to move

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 14:00 - United States - Verona

Today, as every morning since I started working from home, my mother interrupts me with her complaints about family members and old history. I'm not qualified to be a family therapist, and I need this job to pay my bills. She doesn't take the hint with my headphones on, but heaven help me if I interrupt her TV show later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 141

Adding insult to almost injury

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 10:00

Today, the director of my university decided to cancel all my attendance until now, as I was unable to attend the inauguration program in my university. I was unable to attend the program because the area I had to travel to was flooded and one of the trains I was supposed to travel on caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 114

Priorities

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 12:00

Today, my parents announced they're getting a divorce. Now I don't know who's going to do my laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 1 867

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 687

You deserved it 8 449

By localbarista - 03/08/2011 23:46 - United States

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 417

You deserved it 2 439

Life's a beach

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 12:00

Today, I finally beat depression by going for a walk on the beach. I couldn't contain myself and happily played in waist-deep water as I walked. I realized my keys for my car, mail, house, and work had fallen out of my pockets and into the ocean, never to be seen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 523

Unfresh and unfit

By oldest young lady - 03/08/2023 04:00

Today, I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, and was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I must be pretty old, right? Wrong. I’m 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 114

Handle with care

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 471

Share them with us!

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 22:00

Today, after dumping my ex for being married, I realized he'd been my best friend too, and I have no one to tell the funny, mundane bits about my day. I never realized until now how much I needed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 301

You little devil

By Awakened - 07/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my cat learned that smacking his feather toy against the metal barrel I store it in will result in a loud and irritating sound that gets me out of bed fast. Taking it out and putting it on the floor doesn't work, because he learned how to pick it up and drop it in the barrel. My cat is a goddamn genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 196

Letting go

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 00:30

Today, my dad muttered something about the snow in Texas being fake, caused by 5G. I didn't take the bait, because it made a change from natural disasters being caused by my "homosexual life choices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 174

Rainy days and Mondays

By Anonymous - 06/10/2010 23:19 - Brazil

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 057

You deserved it 28 000

Spending spree

By cheapskate supreme - 09/08/2023 00:02

Today, my husband guilt-tripped me for buying a $14 purse. According to him, my old one, with its busted zipper, frayed hems and holes in the interior, was still “perfectly good to hold all your crap.” I literally only have one purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 125

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The Top

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 910

You deserved it 1 561

Today, I was talking to a friend and bemoaning the fact that my new coworkers keep mixing up my gender. She looked at me critically and said, "Yeah, until you can grow a decent beard, people are going to keep thinking you're an intern or a butch lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 791

You deserved it 2 331

Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 645

You deserved it 8 603

Today, I have a UTI. After taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side-effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 233

You deserved it 4 571

Today, I called my friend in Australia to have a nice long chat, what I did not know was that my dad had removed my international calling plan, I talked to my friend for 5 hours, and ran up a huge phone bill, which I have to take out of the money I saved up to go see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 171

You deserved it 8 359

Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 421