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Good to know I'm not the only one the system bends over and goes to town on. But as far as driving out there to speak to them in person goes, it's about a 9 hour drive assuming there isn't too much traffic, which there usually is, so that's not a particularly viable option

By justhelpful - 02/07/2012 17:44 - Austria - Mils

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 171

You deserved it 2 038

What's the deal with handbags?

By Clumsy - 18/03/2022 02:00

Today, a customer yelled and cursed at me, splashing spittle in my face, and to top it all off she wished “my mom would die in a fire.” All this because I accidentally spilled her milkshake all over her Louis Vuitton handbag. Apparently, it “costs more than my rent.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 298

By Reena - 19/08/2011 06:38 - Canada

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 4 232

By nothingdoes - 27/10/2010 17:59 - United States

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymed with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 992

You deserved it 3 017

By Anonymous - 25/11/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 236

You deserved it 6 678

Over the rainbow bridge

By Memelord - 18/03/2022 10:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my friend informed me that his dog died. Hoping to cheer him up, I sent him a random meme. My dumb ass mistakenly sent him a meme about dead dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 1 596

By sugarysofalof - 13/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Denver

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 139

You deserved it 29 325

sugarysofalof tells us more.

sugarysofalof 22

Thursday 13 June 2013 22:21

Hahahaha I was wondering why my bottom lip looked slightly fuller today...now I am reminded. This happened late last night. Somehow that response was involuntary. If that labels me with stereotypical American idiocy, so be it. I wouldn't have posted this on FML if I was looking for sympathy :)

By FMlovelife - 28/06/2012 15:28 - United States

Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 781

You deserved it 2 973

Manchild

By Guyinstructor - 06/05/2022 18:00

Today, and ever since my boyfriend moved in, I've learned just how much his mother did everything for him and never taught him how to adult. In the last month I've had to show him how to cook, clean the house, do laundry and drying, use the vacuum, pay household bills, and he still moans its too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 238

Right under your nose

By Anonymous - 03/02/2021 01:56

Today, my husband took our 5-month-old to the doctor, who diagnosed him with a severe sinus blockage and referred us to a specialist. This is the third major health problem with our son that our husband has picked up before I did. My job? I’m a nurse in a paediatric clinic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 764

Lackey

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 04:00 - Australia - Batesford

Today, at 1 am, I got a message from a colleague, who I have never met, bossing me around requesting "immediately, ASAP" some information a monkey could've found online in 5 minutes. I told her that she sounded rude and unorganised. Ten minutes later, I got a mail from my boss asking me to apologise to her. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 312

Rats!

By Etrius - 17/08/2014 15:19 - United States - La Grande

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 346

You deserved it 7 198

Reflex

By romea244 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 814

You deserved it 27 351

Tech expert anyone?

By I am puzzled - 13/07/2023 03:00 - Ukraine - Vinnytsia

Today, my laptop has its own likes and dislikes. The cooler keeps spinning crazily, causing loud annoying noise when I use the laptop at my parent's house, and functions perfectly silent at my place. Careful inspection proved full working order. What's going on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 127

By HellaBomber91 - 20/11/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 098

You deserved it 40 722

By qwerty - 05/05/2009 20:39 - United States

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 226

You deserved it 9 146

Priorities, dude

By really? - 27/03/2022 00:01 - United States

Today, my sister, who used to be my best friend, texted me asking why we never talk anymore. Hmm, maybe it’s because she stopped answering my calls, texts, carrier pigeons, smoke signals, psychic reachings, and every other form of communication since she got a new boyfriend six months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 152

By moe - 19/10/2010 19:15 - United States

Today, the man who has been my stepfather for six years, has forgotten how old I am. However, he remembers exactly how much my real father owes him for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 648

You deserved it 2 872

Thanks, I hate it

By hawtpinkpanties - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandma gave me a gift, something she's never done before. I was excited, until I found out it was one of her overdue library books about dolphins. I feel so loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 430

You deserved it 3 206

Cheat code

By justno - 15/04/2022 00:00

Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 274

Is she better than me?

By Lovesucks - 02/12/2019 14:00 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I found out my boyfriend, who is buying me a ring for my birthday, is buying my best friend a ring that cost 10 times more than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 865

You deserved it 276

By auntoftheyear - 10/08/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 365

You deserved it 10 080

By Anonymous - 18/06/2012 14:39 - Canada - Markham

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 261

You deserved it 2 748

By **(: - 09/08/2011 04:23 - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 578

You deserved it 12 624

The house always wins

By Rhayne - 23/07/2023 06:00 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, I discovered my husband hadn't stopped his dangerous gambling habit, even though he'd promised to stop after I caught him the first time two months ago. I'm hurt, sad, confused, and angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 147

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a customer complained he never got his sandwich, even though I put it in the oven, dressed it up and served it to him. When I went to clear his table off, I saw the sandwich basket. We had to give him his money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 621

You deserved it 2 329

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 659

You deserved it 5 831

Today, while looking through pictures of my boyfriend and me on Facebook, I noticed that in practically every single one featuring my best friend, his eyes are directed down her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 493

You deserved it 3 899

Today, I thought I felt a spider crawling by my eye. Having a huge fear of spiders, like an idiot, I lamped myself in square in the eye. I now have a partial black eye because of what turned out to be a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 998

Today, Facebook sent me a new friend suggestion. I opened it only to see that the person suggested was the home wrecker that broke up my marriage 4 years ago. Her cover picture is her and my ex together, along with a group of people that I used to be friends with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 150

Today, after my girlfriend had said she was cooking surprise dinner for me this week, the crazy thing is I came home early from work and the surprise dinner was she was eating some dude's cock and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 123