The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 4 August 2025, 03:00 ·Yuba City, United States

New addition

Today, it's my 35th birthday. I’m a single father of 3 (14, 13, 12). I’m also a disabled combat veteran and have been alone for a while now. I just got news this morning that the mother of my children (who hasn’t been present in their lives at all for over 10 years and is a meth addict) is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479 You deserved it 130

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Anonymous · 2 October 2022, 07:30

Calcultated

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. Over text. While I was on vacation visiting my old grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942 You deserved it 105

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Chelsea · 8 August 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Sorry

Today, on my way out to go on vacation, I set up an out-of-office auto-reply on my work email, which said: “Gone fishing. Don’t bother me unless someone dies.” The first person to receive it was a client whose grandfather had just passed away. He wasn't best pleased, judging by the angry email he sent in response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 You deserved it 687

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Anonymous · 24 July 2021, 11:01

All shook up

Today, I found out that my crush had a girlfriend. The way I found it out? He hugged me from behind, calling her name and saying darling, etc. When I turned around in shock, he quickly backed away and said, "Sorry , I thought you were someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 984 You deserved it 114

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KittyT · 10 August 2025, 15:00 ·Melbourne, Australia

Goddamn climate change!

Today, one year after I purchased my house, I planned to have a fire pit to celebrate. It turned out to be the only rainy day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330 You deserved it 91

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Anonymous · 14 February 2024, 06:00 ·Vienna, Austria

Roomies

Today, after months of searching, I finally found a flat that is affordable and with amazing flatmates. The catch? I'm developing feelings for one of them. My heart sinks when they have a date over. I'm also in a relationship. The situation is eating me up inside. I hate that I'll have to go. Cupid, go f*ck yourself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221 You deserved it 699

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Anonymous · 29 July 2021, 04:01

Out of it

Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919 You deserved it 242

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Racist ass · 22 August 2025, 20:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Ignorance never dies

Today, my husband told our daughter to eat with her fork, not her hands. She said that in Africa, people eat with their hands. He said, "Yeah, and they cut up little girls' vaginas with a razor blade there too." Now she's traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 185

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Jo. · 20 October 2022, 02:00

A night to remember

Today, it was my 21st birthday. My roommate insisted her friend join us. They both got belligerently drunk while I was pretty sober. We ended the night at 12am with her friend violently sobbing at the bar over her boyfriend, while I played Subway Surfers. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790 You deserved it 155

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Anonymous · 20 February 2024, 12:00 ·Australia

Brain worms

Today, I realized I've been saying "Excuse me" to automatic sliding doors for the past week. They haven't responded yet, but I'll keep you posted on their social skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367 You deserved it 183

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nick · 2 March 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Metaphorically speaking…

Today, I realized my iPhone is a reflection of my love and dating life. Every charger I have will charge my friends’ iPhones, pretty much everyone else’s… except mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352 You deserved it 190

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Anonymous · 5 March 2024, 22:00 ·Virginia Beach, United States

It's pronounced Renesmée

Today, I told my boyfriend in a joking manner that he says my name slightly incorrectly. Now he’s mad I didn’t tell him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176 You deserved it 501

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Blueberrypie · 7 March 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Another "nice guy" bites the dust

Today, my friend and I went to dinner. At the end, he told me that he’s had feelings for me for a while and wants to be more than friends. I don’t see him that way, so I tried to gently reject him and wanted us to stay friends. He stiffed me with the bill and said, “You can walk home then, buddy!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 718 You deserved it 235

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why · 11 September 2025, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

I have needs

Today, as always, my boyfriend has a micropenis. He found my dildo and started crying because it was bigger than him. I love him to death and would never cheat on him, but sometimes I just need to be filled up. Am I wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 586 You deserved it 154

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Anonymous · 18 March 2024, 09:00 ·Madison, United States

Return to sender

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. with an extremely satisfying fart. It felt great and I probably would have fallen right back to sleep, except that my ass was 8 inches from the air intake of my CPAP machine that I use, due to smoke inhalation damage from being a firefighter. It was so gross that I threw up in the CPAP mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565 You deserved it 252

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Anonymous · 22 March 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Focus!

Today, after I cooked dinner, my girlfriend told me how much she missed me and how she wanted to spend more sexy time together. We climbed into bed and, right in the midst of getting frisky, her ADHD kicked in big time, so her mind went astray and then she just fell asleep. Perhaps some Adderall? FML

I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 137

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Anonymous · 25 August 2021, 18:01 ·Wilmington, United States

Surf's Up

Today, as I was strapping my boogie board to my wrist, a wave slammed the board right into my crotch. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753 You deserved it 165

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Anonymous · 20 November 2022, 12:00 ·Burlington, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Dirty sex

Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036 You deserved it 137

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Anonymous · 29 March 2024, 06:00 ·Calgary, Canada

The plan

Today, I'm facing the truth that the women I married, in large part to bring my long-lost family together, was too successful as she slept with one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426 You deserved it 187

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Anonymous · 26 August 2021, 10:01 ·Sweden

Got something to read?

Today, I started the first day of my job as newspaper distributor, after a year of struggling to find a job. I got stuck in an elevator for two hours very early in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879 You deserved it 74

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OldAndTired · 16 November 2022, 06:00

Healthcare is ******

Today, my pharmacy was unable to fill my prescription for the only drug that works for an excruciating condition that I have. Only one company makes the drug and it's backordered for three months. I have one week left and then I’ll be forced into withdrawal. Without the drug, my life will be a living hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035 You deserved it 159

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Anonymous · 2 April 2024, 09:00 ·Kolkata, India

Dating hell

Today, I have dated three people in high school and all of them cheated on me. The first one had feelings for, let's say, person A; the second one had feelings for person B; and the third girl had feelings for both person A and B. So, I ain't gonna be dating anyone any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371 You deserved it 131

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I tried · 9 October 2025, 00:00

Preppers

Today, I told my roommate I'd meal-prepped a whole week's worth of food. Hours later, I found all my perfectly packed containers… in the freezer. I meant to refrigerate them, but now I have seven blocks of chicken-and-rice ice sculptures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127 You deserved it 327

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Anonymous · 2 April 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Good times

Today, I was visiting my mom for Easter weekend. I rarely visit her, since she lives on the other side of the state. She spent the nicest day of the visit sick all day in bed. It wasn't food poisoning, the doctors don't know what it was, but she was fine the next day, when it was raining and much colder, so no outdoors for us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319 You deserved it 208

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Anonymous · 11 October 2025, 00:00

Complaint

Today, I sent a voice memo to my best friend complaining about how annoying my coworker is, especially her weird fake laugh. I hit send and immediately realized I’d sent it to the coworker in question. Her response? A single voice memo of her doing that exact laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 You deserved it 715

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Fling! · 29 November 2022, 12:00 ·United States

Raining cats and dogs

Today, I tried to put my reclining chair back. My cat and dog were sitting on the very top. It went up in an unexpectedly forceful manner, sending them flying, causing my dog to fall, and my cat to cling for dear life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640 You deserved it 365

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Anonymous · 12 April 2024, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Boss makes a pound…

Today, I sat down and worked out I get paid £26000 a year for working 40 hours a week. Meanwhile my boss gets paid £115000 to answer emails when he remembers to and to attend 5 hours of mandatory meetings a month, which he now does over video chat from his vacation cottage in Scotland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528 You deserved it 145

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RIP Kevin · 28 November 2022, 18:00

Joker brain

Today, my mom, who is a huge Batman fan, is still weepy and talking non-stop about Kevin Conroy, as she has been for the past two weeks. After three days it was starting to get excessive; now I think I'm going mad like the Joker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665 You deserved it 142

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Anonymous · 14 April 2024, 09:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Where are you?

Today, it's been three weeks since my parents went on holiday and not only have they not called me, they don’t answer when I call them… until today, when my mom finally called me, whilst I was having sex. She then sent me a text outlining how rude it was I ignored her call and grounded me. I’m 24 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512 You deserved it 138

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DanJames24 · 5 June 2020, 14:00

Family jewels

Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743 You deserved it 189

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